The light from Harry's transformation continued to pulse, crackling with a force that seemed to shake the very air. The girls—Hermione, Annabeth, Clarisse, Thalia, Silena, and Brunhilde—had all been sleeping soundly in the next room, when the blinding radiance had torn through the walls like a sonic boom.
Thalia was the first to bolt upright, her electric blue eyes flashing with alarm. Her hand shot to the dagger at her side, ready to go from zero to combat in about half a second. The others were not far behind. Clarisse, grumbling, grabbed her spear with the kind of practiced ease that only came with years of fighting monsters. "What the hell? This better not be another one of those 'Harry's up to something' pranks."
Annabeth, her mind already starting to piece things together, shot upright, adjusting her Camp Half-Blood t-shirt with a sleepy frown. "What now?" she muttered, reaching for her laptop like it was some kind of magic weapon. "Did someone pull the fire alarm again?"
Hermione, of course, went straight into logical mode. She squinted against the light, her brow furrowed in confusion. "This isn't right. This can't be right," she whispered, pulling her wand out of its hidden place beneath her pillow, just in case. "I knew he was up to something... but this?"
Brunhilde, standing near the door with a serene expression, seemed the least fazed. Having lived centuries of war and dealing with gods, magic, and all manner of chaos, she stepped forward like this was just another Tuesday. "This is no mere trick," she said, her voice calm, but heavy with experience. "This is something... far older."
Silena, who had been closest to the door, was the first to notice the air vibrating with raw energy. "It's him," she said softly, blinking in disbelief. "It's Harry. Something's happening. And it's big."
Thalia's skepticism was the next to speak up, her sharp gaze narrowing as she crossed her arms. "Big? You mean terrifying. That's a whole lot of glowing."
And that's when the door swung open, revealing the source of all the chaos: Harry. But not Harry, exactly. No, this was something else—something… more.
Harry stood there, golden and crimson armor gleaming like it had been forged in the heart of a sun, with the now-familiar (but considerably more powerful) Riyu Jingu Bang resting in his hand. The staff pulsed with energy, making the room hum with an ancient force that seemed to fill the very air. His golden diadem shimmered atop his head, and his eyes—those once-familiar green eyes—burned with the intensity of a god. Mischief. Defiance. Power. A whole lot of power.
Hermione gasped, her hand flying to her chest as her mouth opened and closed like she had forgotten how to use words. "Harry?" she said, her voice small, unsure. "What—what happened to you?"
Annabeth stepped forward, her eyes locked onto Harry's new form, her brain kicking into high gear. "This is... different," she said, not bothering to hide the awe in her voice. "What kind of power is this? What did you do, Harry?" She asked the question with a sense of urgency, but there was no malice in her voice. Only concern. And curiosity.
Harry's grin, though, was pure Harry. That trademark, cocky smirk. "Oh, this?" He gestured at himself, as if it was no big deal. "Yeah, I'm the new Monkey King. No biggie. Been a long time coming, honestly."
Clarisse took a moment to process, then looked at him as if he were insane—which, admittedly, he might be. "You? The Monkey King? Seriously?" she asked, her voice dripping with disbelief. "What, you ate a magic fruit, or are you just that annoying now?"
Harry's eyes gleamed with mischief. "You bet I am." He adjusted his golden diadem. "You see, I'm kind of a big deal now. The Monkey King's got a lot of perks. Cool staff. Awesome powers. And—oh yeah, I can totally kick butt."
Silena stepped forward, eyes wide, taking in his glowing armor, the way the very air seemed to bend around him. "You really mean it, don't you? You're really him. The Monkey King."
Thalia, ever the skeptic, folded her arms across her chest, raising an eyebrow. "This is a little much, even for you, Harry," she said, but even she couldn't hide the small amount of respect in her voice. "You're glowing like a freaking sun."
"Hey, I aim to impress," Harry quipped, twirling his staff lazily in his hand. He winked at Thalia. "Pretty cool, huh? I think it suits me."
Brunhilde's gaze never wavered, her posture regal and powerful as she appraised Harry like he was a weapon that had just been unsheathed. "The power of the Monkey King is not something to be taken lightly," she said in a deep, rumbling voice. "It changes everything—the wielder, the world around them."
Loki, standing just off to the side with a grin that could only be described as mischievous, gave a lazy wave of his hand. "Oh, look, the gang's all here," he said, his voice as smooth as honey. "Welcome to the party, my dear ones." He gestured to Harry with a flourish. "This one's mine, after all."
Hermione blinked, looking between Harry and Loki. "Loki? What—how—?" Her words faltered, as the pieces didn't quite fit. "How is he—?"
Loki, leaning casually against the doorframe with a grin that was both arrogant and playful, tilted his head. "Oh, Hermione," he said, as if he were sharing a delightful secret. "It's quite a long story. But where's the fun in explaining everything? Harry seems to have it all under control."
Harry stretched slightly, his armor gleaming even brighter, and with a playful chuckle, he raised the Riyu Jingu Bang slightly. "So," he said, his voice carrying a hint of mischief, "anyone up for a little chaos?"
The room fell into a brief, stunned silence. The kind of silence that only comes before something big—and incredibly fun—happens. But no one was panicking. No. Not anymore. They knew Harry. And this? This was just another Tuesday with their friend.
After all, he had just become the Monkey King. What could possibly go wrong?
"Guess it's time to shake things up," Harry added with a wink, ready to rewrite the rules of the universe. The world, as they knew it, would never be the same.
And Thalia? She couldn't help but laugh.
—
The storm of raw energy that had erupted mere moments ago had finally settled into a strange stillness, as if the universe itself had taken a deep breath. Harry stood at the center, his crimson and gold armor gleaming like it had been forged by the sun itself. A golden diadem hovered above his head, pulsing with a power that was as much a part of him as his own heartbeat. And in his hand, the Riyu Jingu Bang rested—an ancient staff with enough mystical energy to level entire cities.
And then, as though the staff were waking up from a long nap, it shifted in Harry's grip. The golden ends gleamed mischievously, and suddenly, out of nowhere, a voice boomed out of it with the kind of enthusiasm that could only be described as… Jim Carrey on a sugar rush.
"HELLOOOOOOO, NEW MONKEY KING!" it shouted, echoing off the walls like it was performing for a crowd of thousands. "I am the one, the only, the magnificent Riyu Jingu Bang! Your humble weapon! Your new best friend! Your stick of destiny! WOOHOO! How you feeling, buddy? Ready to cause some chaos or what?!"
The room froze. Everyone. Every single person. Staring at Harry, the staff, and then back at Harry again, as though trying to decide if they had all suddenly slipped into an alternate reality where inanimate objects could talk.
Hermione was the first to break the silence, of course. She blinked, her brow furrowing in that trademark Hermione way that made you feel like you'd failed a pop quiz. "Did… did that staff just talk?" she asked, her voice a mixture of disbelief and reluctant curiosity.
Annabeth, looking completely unphased as usual, folded her arms and tilted her head. "Okay, just checking. So magic weapons can talk now? Is this a thing now? Like, I didn't get the memo."
"OH YEAH!" the staff cheered, somehow getting even more obnoxiously loud. "I'm just the weapon for the job, Annabeth! Just wait 'til we start cracking some heads together! Or maybe smashing them with my—uh—overly long self! BIG IMPACT! BIG FUN!"
Harry could feel the whole room collectively cringing at the sheer absurdity of it all. He glanced over at Loki, who had been standing by the door with his arms crossed, looking suspiciously smug about the whole situation.
"See, Harry," Loki said in that infuriatingly charming voice of his, "this is why I told you being the Monkey King would be so much fun. You get cool weapons that talk back to you. I never got that kind of perk when I was running the show."
"Yeah, lucky me," Harry muttered, giving the staff a little shake, unsure of whether he was supposed to be worried or amused. "Alright, alright, calm down there, buddy. Just trying to wrap my head around this." He gestured vaguely to the staff, who was still making a racket in the background.
"Oh I'm not CALMING DOWN!" the staff screeched, its tone even more high-pitched. "You're the Monkey King now, buddy! We're gonna have so much fun! I can already tell! You've got that 'I'm gonna make everything explode' kind of vibe! GOOOOOOOD TIMES!"
Brunhilde, who had been watching everything unfold with the kind of stoic expression usually reserved for battle-hardened warriors, just shook her head. "This… this is a first," she muttered, raising an eyebrow. "I've fought gods. I've fought demons. But this is something new."
"Right?" Harry said, flashing her a half-grin. "I'm just as confused as you are. This staff seems to have a lot of opinions."
Just as Harry was about to continue, the staff zoomed in the air like a hyperactive puppy, suddenly catching sight of Loki and Artemis standing nearby.
"AND YOUUUU!" it cried, as if it had just recognized an old friend. "Loki! The original trickster! The legendary troublemaker! You and me are gonna have so much fun! I love your style!"
Loki gave the staff a dramatic, over-the-top bow. "Ah, flattery. The only true language," he said, smirking. "I knew we'd get along. And don't get me started on my kid. He's going to be absolutely delightful."
The staff didn't even pause. "AND YOU, ARTEMIS!" it practically sang. "Goddess of the Hunt! Queen of the Moon! Your son's got a spark in him! A spark! Gotta say, I'm excited to be working with you two—especially with that bloodline!" It paused again. "Your son is going to be epic. Just wait."
Artemis—formerly Lily Potter, who was wearing an expression of bemused patience—looked at the staff, and then Harry, then back at the staff again. "I didn't ask for this, you know," she said with a hint of a smile, clearly enjoying the chaos in her own special way. "But I guess someone has to keep him in line."
Hermes, who had been lounging near the back of the room with that effortless coolness of his, suddenly perked up at his name. "Hey, hey, don't forget about me, okay?" he chimed in, grinning at the staff as though it were a long-lost friend. "I don't mind the spotlight every now and then."
The staff, not missing a beat, practically skipped over to Hermes with uncontainable excitement. "HERMES! The original messenger of chaos! The god of mischief! You're part of this? Ohhh, we are gonna cause some real trouble, aren't we? I mean, look at you, Hermes. You're practically made for this kind of thing!"
Hermes threw his hands up in mock surrender. "What can I say? I've got the bloodline for it," he said, winking at Harry. "You've got a lot of fun ahead, kid. I can already tell."
As the staff continued its chatter, Thalia crossed her arms tightly, the leather of her jacket creaking in a way that could only be described as disgruntled. "So let me get this straight," she said, her voice tinged with annoyance. "We're all standing here talking to a magical weapon that knows everyone's names and seems to think it's our best friend now?"
"Yep," Harry said, leaning casually on the staff. "Pretty much. And it really likes to talk. A lot."
"Well, great," Clarisse muttered, clearly unimpressed. "Because the last time I had a weapon that talked, it tried to eat me. Literally."
"TRIED to eat you?" the staff asked, sounding genuinely horrified. "No, no, no! I'm not about that life! I'm all about the fun! Chaos, baby! No weirdness—unless you want me to get weird! I can totally do that too!"
As everyone exchanged glances, some clearly baffled, others simply amused, Harry grinned. "Well, I guess the Monkey King gig isn't as boring as I thought."
Annabeth, always the voice of reason, adjusted her Camp Half-Blood t-shirt and raised an eyebrow. "So, just to clarify…" She looked between the staff and Harry. "You've inherited the powers of the Monkey King, you've got the coolest weapon ever, and now it's talking to us like we're old friends? Yeah. That's… normal."
Harry shrugged, his mischievous grin growing wider. "It's what happens when you've got me as your king. What could possibly go wrong?"
Silena, ever the optimist, chimed in with a smile. "Yeah, what could possibly go wrong?"
And so, as the room filled with laughter and the staff continued its hyperactive banter, Harry couldn't help but feel a small thrill rise within him. The new Monkey King was here, and with a talking weapon at his side, a mess of gods and demigods in tow, and the promise of chaos on the horizon, things were definitely about to get interesting.
—
The room was already buzzing with the residual energy from Harry's new Monkey King abilities, but now, the atmosphere took a sudden, dramatic shift. The staff—Riyu Jingu Bang—was up to something. Harry could feel it, a weird tug at the edges of his awareness, like a pet trying to sneak snacks off the counter when it thought no one was looking. And honestly, the staff had always been a bit of a drama queen, but this? This was something else entirely.
"Hey, what's going on now?" Harry muttered, glancing down at the staff, which was practically vibrating with anticipation.
Riyu Jingu Bang, in what could only be described as a voice that sounded like Jim Carrey in full manic mode, let out a low growl. "Ohhh, I see what's going on. You think I didn't notice all the shiny new toys you've got tucked away, huh? You think I won't find them?"
Harry blinked. "What? What toys?"
The staff's golden ends began to glow brightly, crackling with energy. "Don't play coy with me, Harry! I see that bow of yours, and those lovely knives—don't think I won't have a little fun with them."
Harry's eyes narrowed. "Wait—what?"
Before Harry could finish his sentence, the staff gave an almost jealous lurch. One minute, his bow—crafted with Uru and Celestial Bronze, infused with magic from his grandmother Frigga, and even tied to the goddess Artemis herself—was tucked neatly in his pocket. The next moment, the staff's golden ends shot forward like a rocket, and—whoosh—Harry's bow was pulled free, sailing straight into the staff's grasp with a triumphant, metallic clang.
"Ohhh, this is good," the staff purred, clearly pleased with its new acquisition. "A bow made of celestial metal and gods know what else. Look at that craftsmanship! You could have told me you were into fine things, Harry."
"What the—hey! That's my bow!" Harry protested, looking at his weapon now inhabiting the staff with a grimace. "Get it back! It's not yours!"
But Riyu Jingu Bang wasn't done yet. No, it had tasted power, and it wanted more.
"Oh, I'm not stopping here, Harry," the staff giggled in a tone that would have made villains everywhere jealous. "You've got knives too, don't you? Don't think I didn't notice those keychains of yours—so cute, so vibrant." The staff's golden ends shone even brighter as it yanked—and in a blink, Harry's twin hunting knives were pulled out of his backpack, which had been sitting innocently in the corner.
Vwoooom!
The knives, forged by Loki himself with lightning from Mjolnir and a mixture of Vibranium and Celestial Bronze, shot through the air, locking into place within the staff like it was some sort of sick magic puzzle. The moment they embedded themselves, the staff made a noise that could only be described as ecstatic. "YES! Now THIS is what I'm talking about! Uru, Celestial Bronze, Vibranium, lightning, magic—give me more!"
"What just happened?" Hermione exclaimed, hands flying to her head as she watched, wide-eyed, as Harry's gear seemed to vanish into the staff's gleaming, overcompensating form.
Harry was seriously regretting ever picking up that staff now. "This... thing—I swear it's like an annoying little sibling who just grabbed all my best stuff without asking," he muttered, stepping back slowly.
Annabeth was the first to speak up, crossing her arms with the kind of exasperation that could only come from years of dealing with chaos. "I think it just absorbed them. It upgraded itself. And Harry didn't even get a say in the matter."
"Great. So I'm dealing with a greedy, jealous magical artifact now," Harry grumbled, rubbing his forehead. "This day just keeps getting worse."
"You can say that again," Thalia added, her voice tight with suppressed frustration. Her arms were crossed in that classic Thalia posture, and the air around her seemed to buzz with a barely contained fury. "And we're all stuck watching."
Loki, who'd been standing off to the side like the amused, sarcastic god he was, couldn't help himself. He smirked. "Well, I did warn you all. That staff? Drama queen." He made an exaggerated hand gesture, as if giving the staff a round of applause. "It's growing on its own now. Wouldn't be surprised if it starts throwing tantrums next."
"Do we really have to deal with this?" Clarisse, arms folded across her chest like she was in no mood for this nonsense, asked, glancing at the staff. "Because I swear I'll find a way to make it regret this."
Luke, leaning casually against the wall and looking like he was two seconds away from cracking a joke, glanced at Harry. "Man, you might want to rein that thing in before it wants our weapons too."
Harry shot Luke a glare, but before he could retort, the staff—now with all of Harry's favorite things absorbed into it—began to sing. "WOOO! LOOK AT ME NOW! Uru? Check! Celestial Bronze? Check! Vibranium? Lightning? Magic? Yes please! I am unstoppable now, baby!"
"Who let the staff have that much sugar?" Silena murmured, her voice dripping with sarcasm, as she watched the staff practically dance in the air, basking in its newfound glory.
Beckendorf's eyebrows shot up as he muttered, "Does it always act like this? Because, seriously, it's giving me bad vibes."
"Well," Harry sighed, holding his hands up like he was trying to calm an excited toddler, "I get it. You want to be the star of the show. But can we just have a little conversation about boundaries?"
"I DON'T NEED BOUNDARIES!" Riyu Jingu Bang roared, its golden ends practically glowing with pride. "I'm an ancient, all-powerful weapon, and I want MORE. More chaos! More toys! Give me EVERYTHING!"
"Yeah, not happening," Harry muttered. "I've seen the way you overreact when you don't get what you want. Not today."
"Well, it's too late now, Harry," Artemis—who, in this particular universe, was the goddess of the hunt and his mother—said calmly, her voice carrying the weight of someone who'd lived through eons of chaos. "You've awakened a monster. And now it's hungry."
"I think I might need a vacation," Harry muttered, as the staff rumbled in contentment. "A very, very long vacation."
And as the staff gleefully absorbed everything in sight, it was clear that this was only the beginning of their unpredictable, weapon-stealing adventure.
"Maybe we should call in some backup," Hermione said with a half-hearted laugh, trying to break the tension.
"Don't tempt it," Annabeth added, her mind already working out the logistics of how to stop the staff before it went full drama queen on everyone.
Harry just groaned. "Yeah, I think it's too late for that."
And so, the battle for Harry's lost weapons—and sanity—had only just begun.
—
The staff practically buzzed with excitement as it twirled and spun around in a dizzying, dramatic circle, its golden ends flickering with magic as if it was the happiest thing on the planet. To be fair, it probably was. If you could transform into any weapon at will, you'd be pretty pleased with yourself too.
"Oh-ho-ho! Watch this, Harry!" Riyu Jingu Bang—or whatever it was calling itself now—declared in a tone that could only be described as overly smug. With a flourish, the staff's sleek form twisted and contorted, suddenly elongating like a magician's trick gone wild. In the blink of an eye, it stretched out into a full-on bow, the string pulling tight with the kind of flex that made Harry think it could snap a mountain in half if it really tried.
"Boom! How's that for awesome? A bow! I'm totally ready for the next Hunger Games!" Riyu Jingu Bang—who, to be honest, had a flair for the dramatic—grinned. Or at least Harry imagined it was grinning. The staff had that kind of vibe.
Harry blinked. "Okay, that's… that's impressive. But do you really need to show off like this? I'm just asking for something portable. You know, something that doesn't look like I'm carrying around a medieval weapon shop in my backpack."
"DIAL IT DOWN?!" Riyu Jingu Bang practically screamed in horror, as though Harry had suggested it wear a tutu and do ballet. "You're getting the full experience, kid! The full upgrade! I'm talking high-level weaponry! Get used to it!"
Harry threw his hands up in mock surrender. "Fine! Fine! Just—what else can you do, oh mighty stick of destruction?"
With a dramatic swish, the bow spun in mid-air, flipping and twisting like an action figure on a sugar high. In seconds, the bow was gone, replaced by a broad, gleaming sword. It was the kind of sword that looked like it could cut through dimensions—like, literally—if it felt like it. The glowing blade hummed with power, lighting up the entire room.
"See that? Sword! You like?" Riyu Jingu Bang preened, its voice practically dripping with smugness. "How's that for cool?"
Harry couldn't help but be impressed. "Okay, okay. It's amazing. But, uh… could we maybe do something a little… more compact? You know, something I can actually carry without having to explain to the headmaster why I've brought a weapon that could destroy the entire school?"
The staff paused, its golden ends curling thoughtfully. It hummed for a moment before bursting into enthusiastic action. "Ah! I know exactly what you need, Harry!"
Without warning, the sword shifted again. The wood of the staff twisted and contracted, shrinking and narrowing until it was, quite suddenly, a sleek, elegant wand. The golden tips gleamed as it transformed, looking every bit like a wand Harry could slip into his pocket without causing an international incident.
"There! A proper, compact, discreet weapon for your daily adventures! Can't carry a giant sword around at Hogwarts, can we?" Riyu Jingu Bang—now in its wand form—sounded proud, almost smug. "You'll be the coolest wizard at school, just wait!"
Harry gave the wand an appraising look. "Okay, this is definitely better. I could actually see myself sneaking this into class without getting a ton of questions about whether I'm secretly a battle-hardened warrior or just a very, very enthusiastic Quidditch player."
"Exactly!" Riyu Jingu Bang's voice hummed with glee. "A stealthy weapon! No one will ever suspect your true power. The wow factor is still there, just a little more... subtle. Get ready to take Hogwarts by storm!"
Harry turned the wand over in his hand, studying it with a mix of awe and mild skepticism. There was no denying its power, but he wasn't entirely sure how he felt about the fact that his primary weapon now had so much personality.
"Speaking of which," Harry said, slipping the wand into his pocket, "we really can't keep calling you 'Riyu Jingu Bang' all the time. That's... way too much."
"Whaaaaaat?!" Riyu Jingu Bang gasped, as though Harry had just insulted its very existence. "But it's a legendary name! An epic name! How could you—"
"Yeah, but I'm not introducing you every time like we're auditioning for a kung fu movie," Harry cut in, raising an eyebrow. "I mean, it's like if you named your car 'The Flying Bolt of Justice' or something. Too much."
The staff made a thoughtful noise. "Hmm... Fair enough. But I'm not going to be some boring, ordinary name, alright? I was a legendary weapon! I need a name that shows off my status."
"Could be worse," Harry muttered. "You could be called 'Swordy McSwordface.'"
"I could totally rock Swordy McSwordface!" Riyu Jingu Bang shouted in a voice that sounded like it was half excited and half offended. "That would be a name worthy of a true weapon of legend!"
At that, Annabeth—who had been silently watching the whole spectacle with the kind of cool, calculating look that only she could pull off—chimed in. "Maybe something simpler? Like... 'Jim.'"
There was a pause. Harry blinked. "Jim?"
Annabeth nodded. "It's short, easy to remember, and it has a certain... charm to it. Like, Jim could be someone you trust. You know, like your friendly neighborhood weapon."
Riyu Jingu Bang was silent for a moment, its golden tips flickering with uncertainty. Then, as if some internal switch flipped, it gave a happy whoosh. "Jim? You know what? I feel like a Jim. A good, solid, dependable name! I could totally be a Jim. And honestly, that sounds way cooler than being called 'The Godly Destroyer of Worlds' every time."
Harry stared at the wand in his hand, half-expecting it to pull out a tiny party hat and throw itself a confetti parade. "You're serious. You're okay with 'Jim.'"
"Absolutely!" Jim the wand declared with glee. "Jim it is! I am Jim. Hear me roar! But, like, you know... in a very understated, non-threatening way."
The room fell silent for a moment. Harry blinked and sighed, then grinned. "Alright, Jim it is. You've got yourself a deal. Let's just try to make sure we don't destroy the entire school when we get there, okay?"
"Chaos is my middle name, Harry!" Jim hummed, practically vibrating with excitement. "But I'll try to keep it subtle. For you."
And with that, Harry knew one thing for sure: Hogwarts was about to get a lot more interesting.
—
The door creaked open, and Harry barely had time to process it before Lei Kung and Yu-Ti stormed into the room. They looked like they'd been running a marathon, both of them slightly out of breath, their robes billowing dramatically behind them. It was like they had just encountered a magical obstacle course that only they knew about, and neither of them was exactly thrilled with the outcome.
"Sorry we're late," Lei Kung gasped, his usually serene face betraying a hint of frustration. "We tried getting in for ages, but something was blocking us. Some kind of force field."
Yu-Ti, always the stoic one, glanced around the room with a raised eyebrow. "And do you have any idea what that might have been?"
Harry opened his mouth to answer, but before he could get a word out, a voice—unmistakably Jim's—boomed in the room, as if someone had hit the sound effects button for maximum drama.
"OH! OH! YOU'RE LATE!" Jim's voice practically shouted in gleeful indignation. "You seriously thought you could waltz in here and ruin my grand entrance?! Do you have any idea what you're messing with? I was giving Harry a show! The spotlight was mine, people! MINE!"
Harry closed his eyes, rubbing his forehead in frustration. This is my life now, he thought. My wand is a drama king with an ego bigger than the entire wizarding world.
Yu-Ti and Lei Kung, both looking equally baffled, stared at Harry, then at the staff in his hand—well, the wand in his hand. There were a few tense seconds of silence, during which the whole room seemed to hold its breath.
"Wait, wait, wait," Yu-Ti said, his voice flat but laced with disbelief. "Did you just say that wand... is talking?"
Harry sighed. "Yeah, well, that's Jim. He's... something else." He waved a hand toward the glowing, golden-tipped wand. "He likes to put on a bit of a show."
"Bit of a show?" Lei Kung blinked. "That's the understatement of the century. You mean... this is the legendary Riyu Jingu Bang? The staff that can shape-shift into anything?" He cast another incredulous glance at Harry. "And it's—what, your wand now?"
Jim, clearly feeling attacked, puffed up with pride. "Oh, absolutely! Let me tell you, Lei Kung, this is not just any wand. I'm not a mere tool. I'm the one and only Riyu Jingu Bang! The legendary weapon! The staff that's been everywhere, done everything—poof! Wand mode now. It's all about the convenience factor!" He twirled in Harry's hand as if he were a performer on a stage.
Harry grimaced. "Great. Now, not only do I have a magic wand, but it's one that thinks it's a superstar."
Yu-Ti's face was deadpan, but you could see the struggle in his eyes to keep it all together. "So, let me get this straight. The powerful, ancient staff... has decided to become a wand. And it's got... attitude?"
"You bet it does!" Jim chimed in. "Attitude is key, my friend. Without it, I wouldn't have made it this far. I'm practically a household name!" He gave a dramatic twirl, like an actor making his big entrance. "And just wait until we get to Hogwarts. You think Dumbledore gets applause? Pfft. No. No one's ready for what I bring to the table."
Harry resisted the urge to facepalm. "Please, for the love of Merlin, don't make this more dramatic than it already is."
Yu-Ti and Lei Kung exchanged a look—one that said they were trying to wrap their heads around the sheer insanity of the situation.
"I swear, I don't know if I'm more surprised that you're carrying a legendary staff or that it's talking to us," Lei Kung muttered, his hand twitching toward his own weapon, no doubt ready to intervene in case things went south.
Jim threw up his hands in exasperation. "Oh, come on! I'm not some ordinary wand! You think I'm gonna just sit in the corner and be quiet? That's not how I roll, pal! Now that I'm in Harry's hands, we're about to rock the magical world! First stop: Hogwarts. Then, the world! Harry and me—together? Legendary status guaranteed."
Harry, trying to ignore the spectacle of his talking wand making an already confusing situation a thousand times more bizarre, shot a glare at Jim. "Yeah, yeah, Jim. Let's not make this about you."
Yu-Ti, unable to suppress a grin at the absurdity of it all, raised an eyebrow. "And you're sure this is the weapon you want to carry around? I've trained with some mighty artifacts in my time, but this one seems... a bit unpredictable, to say the least."
Jim, grinning with all the confidence of someone who had never met a dramatic moment he didn't like, shrugged. "Unpredictable? I prefer spontaneous. That's how legends are made, buddy."
Harry felt like he was losing the plot, but then, ever the problem-solver, Hermione's voice suddenly cut through the tension. "Alright, let's focus. We've got bigger things to worry about, don't we?"
She had appeared in the doorway—clearly having overheard most of the chaos. Her arms were crossed, and she had that look on her face: the one that said she had a million questions, but they could all wait until they were somewhere far away from Jim's grand performance.
"Are we really going to stand here and let Jim give a Broadway show while the rest of us try to save our sanity?" Hermione said, fixing Harry with a look that was both amused and slightly exasperated.
Thalia, standing behind Hermione, was giving Harry a look that could only be described as equal parts amused and 'you're seriously carrying that thing?' "Look, as much as I'm enjoying the show, it's kind of hard to take any of this seriously with a talking wand and a history lesson on legs."
Luke rolled his eyes, his arms crossed. "Well, we're definitely not getting anywhere fast with this circus. How about we focus on the whole sleep thing? I'm pretty sure we've got that under control..."
"Agreed," Annabeth added, stepping into the room with a typical, knowing look. "This can be sorted later. Let's just get some rest before Jim's head explodes from too much ego."
With that, the entire room seemed to settle into a more focused but still chaotic rhythm, everyone now aware of the giant, magical mess that was about to unfold. As Harry, his talking wand, and the rest of his team prepared for the next step in their journey, he couldn't help but think that, for once, he was not the most unpredictable thing in the room.
That title, as it turned out, would forever belong to Jim.
---
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