Author's Notes: Chapter edited and corrected by Scott Fellman.
April 24, 2008 - Serena Pov.
I sighed tiredly as I looked at the scene in front of me. I could already feel the headache coming on, and the day was just beginning.
"Come on, Maomao! You can beat the Sotheby's record! " Sucy exclaimed with a crazed, dangerous smile. She was crouching down with a stopwatch in her hand.
"I don't think she'll make it!" Sotheby said happily, sitting on the floor looking at the scene, not seeming worried about losing her 'achievement.'
"You can do it Maomao!! I'm betting on you!!" Jester cheered happily.
My gaze finally focused on Maomao. She was sprawled on the floor in the center of the tent. She was completely pale as she spasmed violently. I could see foam beginning to form at her mouth as she twitched and writhed on the floor. Her hands were twitching restlessly.
Next to them, I could see an empty bottle, and it was practically obvious what they were doing.
The worst thing wasn't what she was doing, but that Maomao was definitely aroused if I looked at her chest and crotch; even the smell was a strong giveaway.
"What are you doing?" I asked coldly. Sucy and Sotheby shuddered and paled as they stared at me in horror. It was shocking; I hadn't known Sucy could turn pale. I looked dispassionately at both of them.
"Maomao was tired and drank the wrong potion! She wanted a pepper-up, but the potions got mixed up!" Sucy said immediately without stuttering. In fact, to her credit, her lie was almost convincing except for one simple fact.
"It would have been more believable if I didn't know either of you," I said dryly. They both grimaced, and I sighed. I bent down and picked up the empty bottle, sniffed lightly, and wrinkled my nose. Well, at least they didn't choose anything lethal, and this definitely didn't have a hint of aphrodisiac in it to justify Maomao's reaction. It wasn't because of the potion, but rather Maomao being Maomao with poisons again. "Just give her the antidote." I sighed tiredly.
Sucy nodded quickly and took a small bottle out of her robe, placing it to Maomao's lips. I watched Maomao regain color as she stopped thrashing around. It took her a few seconds to regain consciousness and sit up abruptly, her back to me.
"W-what?! Sucy! You know I could hold out for a while longer! We tested it with the other poisons!" Maomao exclaimed indignantly. Sucy and Sotheby paled even further. Jester looked panicked as she shook her head vigorously.
"'Other poisons'?" I asked slowly from behind Maomao. I could see her body shudder and freeze.
"S-Serena… she's behind me… right?" Maomao asked robotically without even turning around. The other three girls nodded quickly. Maomao shakily turned around and smiled awkwardly. "S-Serena! What are you doing here!? Can we help you with something?!" Maomao asked immediately.
"Yes, you can start by telling me what it means when they used the 'other poisons,'" I said coldly. Maomao paled and smiled unnaturally.
"I don't know what you're talking about!" Maomao said falsely. My hand moved quickly and grabbed Maomao's head, my fingers digging into the sides of her head before squeezing tightly. "Ow! Ow! Let go! It hurts! This is abuse! I just recovered from poisoning!" Maomao pleaded as her hands gripped onto my wrist as she tried to break free. I only squeezed harder, making her scream.
"You seemed to enjoy that poisoning," I said dryly as I stared at her crotch. Maomao stopped and started blushing profusely, crossing her legs and covering her crotch with her hands.
"Y-you can't just blurt out a lady's secrets!" Maomao said, embarrassed. I rolled my eyes as I let go.
"When I find a lady, I'll keep that in mind," I said dryly. Maomao looked at me indignantly.
"And what am I?!" Maomao asked, offended.
"Do you really want me to answer that?" I asked mockingly. Maomao blushed slightly as the girls laughed at her. I finally let her go, and she began massaging the sides of her head with a grimace.
"Why are you here?! We don't have lessons today!" Maomao snapped, embarrassed. I raised an eyebrow at her.
"It's my shop." I said dryly; Maomao groaned as she hit her face with her palm.
"I forget about that," she snarled. I rolled my eyes. "Even so! We didn't do anything wrong! None of the poisons we used were dangerous!" Maomao defended herself.
"I'll let this slide only if you've been paying for the poisons you use out of your wages," I said, crossing my arms. The three apprentice apothecaries shuddered slightly and began to pale. "I'm cutting your pay," I said tersely.
"No, wait!"
"It was Maomao's fault. She forced us!"
"Hey!"
"Please don't tell Lord Phenex!"
"I'm so sorry! Don't cut my salary! I have to feed my children!"
"Silence." I raised my hand to silence everyone. "First of all, Jester, you don't work here. You don't get a salary. And you definitely don't have children to feed." I said tiredly. I could feel a headache coming on. Jester froze before smiling.
"Ah! Yes! You're right!" Jester said while laughing happily.
"And you, I know you're all guilty. It's no use blaming Maomao, Sucy." I said dryly. Sucy clicked her tongue. Maomao smirked at her. She rolled her eyes. "I want a list of all the potions you used, and I want you to write a 5-page essay on each poison you tried and everything you learned about them. For our next class." The three of them's eyes widened, and they paled.
"What?! But our next lesson is in 3 days! We tried at least a dozen poisons! It's at least 50 pages! Our hands will fall off!" Maomao exclaimed incredulously. I smiled mockingly at her.
"That doesn't sound like it's my problem," I said dryly.
"Please! Professor! It's impossible to do that!" Sucy begged pitifully.
"We're so sorry!" Sotheby pleaded in a panic. I rolled my eyes.
"If they've had that much time to test so many poisons, then they have time to write essays," I said coldly, before pulling a box from under my skirt. "By the way, I brought the potions to replenish the missing stock. Leave a note," I said simply, placing the small box before enlarging it.
"Wait, a note?" Maomao asked in confusion as she looked at her other two companions. They both looked confused.
"Ah!" Jester exclaimed before reaching into one of her many pockets. It took a few tries, but she pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to Maomao. "You have a message from Lady Prince!" Jester said with a smile. Maomao looked at her flatly and took the paper.
"Thank you Jester." Maomao said dryly. Jester just smiled widely.
"You're welcome!" Jester exclaimed. Maomao just sighed tiredly.
"That was all, I'll be waiting for the rehearsals." I said before turning around to leave the apothecary.
"Wait!" Jester exclaimed before she left the store. I turned around and looked at her. "Do you have any more joke items?!" Jester asked anxiously. I blinked.
"Joke items?" I asked in confusion.
"Yeah! Like the candy you gave out the other day! I thought it would be for sale at the store, but so far, it hasn't." Jester said with a pout.
"Ah... the magic candies," I said simply, wrinkling my nose. "They were something I had by coincidence. I didn't make a new batch," I said honestly. Jester looked almost betrayed.
"What?! Why not?! They're amazing! We could sell it in the store!" Jester said almost incredulously.
"Again, Jester, you don't work here." I pointed out again, and she just pouted once more. "Besides, this is an apothecary, not a candy store, or do you want me to set up a joke shop?" I asked sarcastically. Jester's eyes glittered.
"A joke shop?! Can we build one?! I'll take care of it!" Jester said excitedly as he raised his hand excitedly. I stopped stiffly.
It was definitely a joke, but… a joke shop… the first things that came to mind were Zonko's and Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes. And neither of them sold jokes that I consider 'funny,' with a few exceptions. I mean, everything the Weasleys did was actually harmful to some degree. Not to mention that I was the target of a lot of them from the Marauders. So I was really biased towards them.
But now that I thought about it, maybe that was just how witches and wizards worked. I mean, they have Quidditch and other unhealthy sports. Certainly, the occasional injury didn't matter.
Back to the topic at hand. I had a memory of how to make almost the entire Zonko and Weasley catalog. It's not as if Severus had deigned to learn how to create potions or joke items, definitely not.
But he was the Potions Master at Hogwarts, and if there was one thing Madam Pomfrey couldn't fix, it was Severus's job to create counteracting potions, and that meant knowing how the potion or object that caused the problem in the first place was created. So Severus had gotten good at replicating the things Zonko and the twins did.
Something Severus hates with all his heart.
However, I suppose it might be helpful now.
"Very good, bu-"
"YYAAAY!!" Jester exclaimed happily before hugging me tightly. I sighed and gently punched Jester on the back, returning the hug. "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"
"Yes, yes, yes, now just relax." I said. Jester immediately followed suit with a huge smile. "As I said, fine. However, you'll be responsible for maintaining the supplies in order. I'll teach you how to create everything, provide you with all the necessary resources, and offer assistance when you're feeling overwhelmed. But most of it will be your work." I said straightforwardly. Jester's eyes lit up with excitement.
"A joke shop just for me! It's a dream come true," Jester said happily before her smile began to fall. "But... can I do all that?... I... I'm me, I'm Jester... I'm a normal succubus." Jester pointed out dismissively.
"Jester…" Maomao said worriedly as she tried to get closer. I almost wanted to snort loudly. Jester Lavorre had killed cults, truly dangerous people, gods, and monsters alike. But here, here she was, just a succubus, one of the weakest devils in existence.
I looked at Jester and began scanning her quickly. Hmm, strictly speaking, Jester was at the level of a Hogwarts student in terms of raw power.
"Don't worry, they're just joke items, toys, and magic candy. The magic it requires is so light and weak and so undemanding, you should be able to keep up on your own." I said honestly with a smile. Jester looked at me hopefully.
"Really?!" Jester asked, and I just nodded.
"I mean it. You might have problems if there's a high demand for items, but I guess we can hire other interested people." I said simply. Jester smiled brightly before hugging me again.
"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" Jester squealed again. I just smiled slightly.
"But still, you have a task. Your job is to think of joke items. Items that could be sold. I have some ideas and products that I came up with by coincidence while trying to create other things that can be used. But it's your job to innovate." I said seriously. Jester smiled as she pulled away and nodded vigorously.
"Of course! I have ideas! Lots of ideas! Toys and candy!" Jester said simply.
"Mmm, speaking of sweets. Something about chocolate frogs," I began, thinking about it. I'd already brought plenty of things from the wizarding world into this world, so why not another one? "What do you think about creating something like a piece of enchanted cardboard with a portrait of a famous figure and some important information on the back, and it comes with the chocolate frog?" I asked with a smile.
"Wait, you want to make trading cards? Will those things sell?" Maomao asked from the side. I smirked, reached under my skirt, and pulled out a chocolate frog with Dumbledore's portrait on it. With a subtle charm, I erased all the information behind the card, leaving only the portrait.
"Something like that." I said as I showed her the card, Jester immediately took it, and the other girls gathered around her.
"The portrait moves!" Jester squealed happily.
"Is it Merlin?" Sucy asked in confusion, I snorted and shrugged.
"I just wanted to see if I could charm moving portraits. He is just an old guy I paid to pose for you." I said playfully.
"This… this is amazing! Photos and portraits that move?! They will definitely sell out!!" Maomao said in surprise, I nodded.
"I hope so. I was thinking of using famous people. For example, if there are cards of Sirzechs and the other Satans, I hope they sell well." I said simply. All the girls froze before staring at me.
"You have to do it! Right away!" Jester said almost madly. I blinked.
"I... okay? It'll take a while to gather all the portraits I need. They're done with a special camera if I want the easy way. Otherwise, I'll have to see if I can animate the images properly, although... I'll have to do it anyway. I was thinking of including other beings. I mean, I'm sure it'll be fun to put in a card of Michael and the other archangels." I laughed lightly. All the girls stared at me with a piercing gaze.
"Do it!" they said in unison, and I winced. Okay, that's weird.
"Okay, what's the problem?" I asked in confusion.
" Serena, don't you understand?! People like power. Items from powerful people sell incredibly well! Any Satanic article, for example, Lady Leviathan and her show, are incredibly famous! Creating collectible cards that literally move is something never seen before! And you want to add angels and other supernatural beings!? It will definitely be something amazing! " Maomao said seriously.
I hummed lightly and shrugged.
"I guess. I don't pretend to know what devils generally look for, but if you say so, I'll take the idea to Lucius and see how to implement it." I said. The girls seemed satisfied as they nodded in agreement. "Again, Jester, I'll send you a message when I have everything ready for the joke shop. I'll start giving you lessons so you can create them yourself, so be prepared. It'll be a lot of studying." I said while looking at Jester, who smiled widely.
"I understand! I won't let you down! " Jester chirped. I just nodded.
"Very well, with that, I have to go. I still have things to do around town," I said. The four of them nodded, and with a final nod, I left the apothecary.