Diana
The pain isn't as piercing as it was at the begining , as a matter of fact apart from the sharp pain that rocks my whole being sometimes .. I'd say I don't feel any other thing , the only thing that has changed so far is my hair , yes you heard me right !! , upon checking the mirror this morning I discovered something shocking and unbelievable, The front Of my Hair is red!!! , wild red locks of my hair .. Flipping red !!!! Dark red cascading down my shoulders standing out as much as it can ! And then - I tried to remember if I did this myself yesternight but nothing . This happened over night ! One of the physical changes that I will experience started from my Sweet Hair and oh Sweet eve Mother of cain !! How I want to scream , this is childish ! Why does it have to affect my hair ?
" Diana !! , Diana get your ass over here !" I stare at my myself in the mirror ignoring Ale
" Diana !!! Diana !! Your ex is back " my neck snaps voluntarily towards the door, he only calls Damon my ex
" So?" I yell back !
" She doesn't love him anymore " I hear Ale Tell someone , probably Ramiro , and he didn't sound the least bit sad or annoyed , actually I could have sworn I heard him giggle . I doubt I ever loved Damon ! And I doubt he ever loved me! " Argh what are you saying Diana !?" I palm my face shaking my head ! " Of course you love him ! Of course he loves you ! It's you and him against the world " I nod my head ' Where is he now ?' that silent voice in my head echoes ! And I don't know , but what I do know is he's no longer with Dante ! Once upon a time He was always around , always there , always touching me like he couldn't get enough ! And how he's distant, he might say otherwise but .... I feel it , feel the rift between us and yet I find comfort in it .
It's a blessing you know ? To finally be stable enough to go out , If I stayed one more minute at home I'd loose my damn mind , I love staying at home but this time .. even I know staying there today with be the last straw .
The park is quiet , It's 1pm and the noisy kids are at school , little Gremlins , I wonder how their parents decided to have them and ruin the order of their own lives completely, if it weren't 1 , I would have heard it , the piercing cries of their temper tantrum shown through crocodile tears , they are cute until they open their mouths and shit turns to dust . Imagine me being a mother ! I'd obliterate the child when it's fast asleep with the hallucinations of safety "What is wrong with me ?! Sweet eve " I sigh in frustration at myself and relax into the park bench with my palm over my eyes
" Kocheshka" the hair at the back of my neck stands and not in a good way like the tingle you feel when Your favourite kink is in action, no ! It's standing because of anger from me
" You are mad at me "
" No shit Sherlock Holmes you solved a mystery ! Want a medal to go with that ?"
" I deserve that , did you dye your hair? " he sighs as he asks sitting beside me ,but I don't reply " I had things to deal within Baby things are getting tough for me "
" Sure my mighty Rebel ! Tell me more about this things that you have been doing "
" I can't "
" Of course ! Well then you have no business being here ! You stopped being there and I'm perfect "
" You know Diana I really am sorry but you are not being very considerate right now "
" Oh yeah?"
" YES"
" humour me , what should I say that I'm not saying , or what should I have done ? Throw myself into your arms ?"
" I HAVE SHIT TOO YOU KNOW ! pissed because I'm not here ? The world doesn't revolve around you ! I'm dealing with things too ! And all you have done is distract me , if we are being honest with ourselves " I flinch inwards, cause ouch ! But I'll be damned if I let him see me .
" There's honestly no need to yell ! Handle your 'shit' I'll handle mine ! The world doesn't revolve around me , I'm not a witch you know ? But I'm glad I know how you feel now I won't search for you when I open my eyes , or ask about you when you don't come , because now I know that there is no reason for you to be here with me , handle your problems I'll handle mine ! Life is as simple as that Damon " I smile at him , and it's genuine ! Yes don't get me wrong I'm pissed but still I smile
" Common ! I didn't mean it like that ! I-i just need -"
" What you need I cannot give to you , and I understand! We both have so much On our shoulders , with little time so We should prob-"
" NO ! THAT IS NOT WHAT I MEANT! Look at me !" He grabs my face with his hands tilting my head up ! Yh I might be tall , like real tall for a woman but he's taller he has two whooping inches above me " I still love you , gods I still want you Diana ! I've just been so busy , and all you wanted to do was help , you told me to talk to you and I didn't - I'm so sorry baby " I see the pain in his eyes , the remorse and call me a sucker for him but yh ..
" I can't keep on fighting with you ! I can't , and I won't because I'm already on edge as it is , I will not lose control and most definitely not over you Damon "
" You won't I promise! Please " he whispers kissing me , my face still between his hands " I'm sorry Diana !"
" I know ! " He drags me in , his jaw resting gently on my head as he hugs me
" Need me to walk you home ? "
" No "
" Why'd you dye your hair though ? "
" I didn't "
" But the front is red " he says grabbing thick locks of my hair and twirling them
" I can't explain it "
" Oh , okayy , well I'm sure I'll find out about it later "
" Yh , guess you will "
" I'll see you tomorrow then ?"
" I - sure " I reply pushing down the previous answer about to escape from my mouth .
" Okay " he smiles at me as he turns his back and leaves . I dance on my toes in frustration for a while before
" That was quite the performance pumpkin ! " I fall landing butt first on the bench with a thud .
" Sweet eve what is wrong with you Kae!"the corner of his lips tugs upwards in what I would hope is a smile
" It's Been a while my wild cat ! By any chance did you miss me ?"