I don't own DC
"I'm TELLING YOU right now. That's not what it sounds like." Harley Quinn declared abruptly, yelling into her phone as she parked the car and got out. Strutting in jeans and a V-neck into the back of Superbabes and heading into the locker room. "Trust me! I am intimately aware of what it sounds like." After a second, she rolled her eyes, opening her locker. "Because I work with professionals! That's why! Look-" she turned and sure enough, there was Veronica, changing out of her uniform into her clothes. "Play it again. Veronica. Do me a favor. Tell him this isn't what a blowjob sounds like." holding her phone to the redhead.
Veronica put her ear to the phone and hesitated for a second. "No, it doesn't sound like that at all," she said with a smile as Harley Quinn pulled the phone back to her ear.
"SEE?" Harley Quinn frowned and began stripping, "What do you mean that doesn't prove anything!? Haaah… You know what, MadRoach? I can't right now, I got to get to work. I'll yell at you about it later." She hung up and sighed loudly. "Some guys. You know?"
'Mmn-hmmn. Boys will be boys." Veronica replied with a smile, nodding agreeably even though she wasn't entirely sure what Harley Quinn was talking about.
"...You really shouldn't say that anymore." Harley Quinn noted, but Veronica mostly ignored it.
"Well. Bye!" she said, patting Harley Quinn's rear as she jiggled out of the locker room. "I'm off to meet Alice! And find some boys!" Harley Quinn casually panted her face in one of the mirrors, and watched her bounce away, before tugging on her jester cap.
"Glad that's a bomb I don't have to disarm." She mumbled before walking out of the locker room herself, just as Veronica's long red hair vanished out the back door like a stream of ribbons. "Hey, boss," she said, greeting Orders just as the boss sat behind the counter.
"Mmn." Orders replied with a mild grunt, rubbing her forehead with one hand and turning on deliveries with the other. Just getting over a mild clairvoyance headache. Harley Quinn, noticing the mildly annoyed look on Orders' face, quickly chose to try and get on the floor. Rushing past the counter before her purple-eyed boss could- "Don't bother."
"Fuck." Harley Quinn sighed and did a complete 180. Sitting on Orders' counter as she continued to rub her forehead. "I should've known."
"Contrary to popular belief, I don't PLAN these to happen. They just do." Orders replied, before reaching for the phone.
Time: 7:09 PM. Place: Gotham (Superbabes)
Ring-CLICK
"Superbabes, We Deliver."
"Dude, turn it down, I can't hear!... shut up! Do you want me to order or not?!"
"5 Harley Quinn Meals with Harley Quinn."
"Yeah, I-uh… what, how'd you know what-?"
"Very well. We expect her back in 60 minutes or less, or the police will be informed. You will be charged upon completion of delivery. Name and address, please."
MEANWHILE
"These are getting shorter and shorter." Harley Quinn declared as Orders started writing the receipt.
"Sometimes it's just more productive to make them quick," she tore off the receipt and held it up to her. "Here," she said as Harley Quinn tugged it from her fingers, food soon sliding across the counter. Harley Quinn studied the receipt before stuffing it in the bag of food and lifting it off the counter, heading out the back door and straight to the company car.
"Should've known I'd get a friendly reminder of what sucking a DICK sounds like," she mumbled to herself, adjusting her mirrors, and heading off into traffic. "Not that I don't know it intimately already."
Welp, the eldritch horror that is Gotham Heights loomed ahead in her headlights as she pulled up to one of the many manors that show up there. A white walled building that looked like a Greek design rather than the usual old Victorian Gothic of… well, GOTH-am. It even had a fountain with a statue of Poseidon out front. Pretty sure it was Poseidon, the one with the Trident.
She played DnD. She knew what a trident was.
She left the car on the curb and walked up to the front door of the manor, half expecting a slightly disappointed Wonder Woman fan behind the door, but raised her hand to knock anyway. "Superbabes."
Time: 7:31 PM. Place: Gotham Heights (Poseidon House)
"Special Delivery Service." she declared and waited… aaaaaand waited… "...The fuck?" she knocked again. "Hey!? HELLO. Hot clown girl outside! Not for long, though, it's getting cold," she declared, in character, of course. She had standards. "Hey! Open up already!" She would've double-checked the receipt and the address if she wasn't so certain this was the right place. She then raised her hand again to knock again, but right before her hand touched the wood, the door popped open, "Wha-" a collection of hands grabbed her body, "Ah Phooey." she mumbled before she was abruptly yanked inside.
The sound of metal, the music, echoed in the house. And the smell of boys' body odor and booze filled the manor. "YEAAAH!!" She had half a second to register a group of guys, on the youngish side… some of them even wearing some sort of university uniform…
She didn't think colleges in the US even had university uniforms… but questions for later, as all of a sudden something dropped over her domino mask and blinded her. "Ah!? HEY!!" The food was yanked from her hand, and she was 'restrained' in the loosest sense of the word… her words, however, were still firmly in character. "What the hell?!"
"Babe! Babe! Babe!!" cheered the boys, chanting like morons as she was guided along, and her sweet clown girl ass was dropped onto a surprisingly soft couch. "Babe! Babe! Babe!"
"Alright, boys! We're now going to play a game of "What am I sticking in your mouth?!"
"YEAAAAH!!" the boys roared their approval at this 'game', and Harley Quinn sat unmoving for a minute.
She's done a lot of weird shit in her time, but this was new… is it the clown make-up? It HAS to be the clown makeup… maybe she could be Power Girl for awhile?... who was she kidding, she didn't have the tits for it. Maybe Supergirl…
"As you all already know the rules, I'll explain to the babe. We place numerous phallic items into our player's mouth and place bets on how many she gets right! We have numerous toys and things to play with. Is the contestant ready to play?! We've already placed our bets. Winner gets the Babe!"
"BABE! BABE! BABE!!" chanted the boys again as Harley Quinn's black lips pursed thoughtfully as she came to a conclusive deduction…
It was definitely because of the clown makeup.
"You all are just a bunch of weird little bozos aren't ya?" she noted, but then a hand grabbed her chin, from behind it felt like, opening her mouth. "Haaa…" She extended her tongue over her black lips and waited for the little freaks to start.
"Quiet! No hints!" someone shouted, then after a moment, something SLIMY slid over her tongue. She frowned, immediately closing her lips around it.
"MMmnn…" her tongue spiraled around it. Why did it taste like chocolate?
"What's in your mouth?" he said after a moment, as she opened her mouth and said hesitantly.
"A finger covered in chocolate syrup?" Harley Quinn declared, and an equal number of boys cheered and moaned.
"A finger covered in chocolate syrup!" cheered the host as the boys howled. "Quiet!" he declared as they quieted down, but some were grumbling. "Looks like those who bet on the babe getting 'None' right just lost their bets." There was collective grumbling. "Now. Round 2!"
"...Ahhh…" Harley Quinn opened her mouth again before they could open it for her… then she felt something long and firm sliding onto her tongue and into her mouth. Plunging in and out of her lips slowly. "Mmn. mmn-hmmn?" She swirled her tongue openly around it as the guys around her watched patiently. "Ah…"
"What's in your mouth?"
"Don't you mean, what's up doc?..." There were no laughs as she rolled her eyes behind the blindfold. "A carrot," she said, feeling the bumps and ridges of the vegetable, as the crowd roared again, as the host announced.
"A carrot! 2 for 2!" Again, there were groans. "Next!"
She opened her mouth again and something smooth and rubbery slid into her mouth. "mMn…" She pulled away immediately. "That's a dildo," she said immediately as the group laughed. "I'm guessing it's someone's sister's dildo. Next! Come on, how about a challenge?"
"3 for 3! Next!" Her mouth opened again and waited as something slid into her mouth. She immediately chomped down and swallowed.
"Hot Dog from Superbabes…"
"4 for 4!" The moans of the crowd were increasingly clear; they didn't have much confidence in her judgment of whatever the hell they shoved into her mouth. "Alright! How about this!"
Her mouth opened just in time to catch whatever it was they were shoving towards her face. It was thick, rigid, and bumpy, but oddly buttery. She ran her tongue over many more bumps, before sucking on it. "Corn."
"CORN! CORN! CORN! CORN PORN!!"
"Alright, 5 for 5…" Now the host was sounding a little nervous. "Alright…" The room went quiet."
"Ahhh…" She opened her mouth again when her tongue suddenly touched something cold, and her lips wrapped around it. "MMn? Popsicle," she declared, pulling away.
"Oh YEAH? What flavor?" asked the host as Harley Quinn ran her tongue slowly over her dark lips.
"Tutti-fruity," she said as the crowd cheered again.
"Alright! Alright… we got one more. Here it is… for the grand prize of the babe!" Harley Quinn opened her mouth. "She's got to guess the make. Model. And size…" he declared as Harley Quinn blinked behind her blindfold.
"What are you shoving an entire car in my mouth?" There were some chuckles, and she opened her mouth again. "Ah…" She heard some slight shuffling in front of her and felt the familiar salty taste on her tongue.
Oh well that's just a fucking dick. It's like they're not even trying. "Mmn…" she hummed 'thoughtfully' sliding her dark lips down the now quivering shaft, the one in her mouth trying not to moan as her lips stretched on his cock, flicking her tongue on his urethra as someone held her head. Making sure she didn't get too deep on it, but she bobbed her head on it regardless, running her tongue around and around until her mouth was suddenly filled with salty spunk. "MMGH?" Three thick ropes shoot between her lips, hitting the back of her throat as she moaned again, popping off the cock. "MMN! Ah…"She swallowed and opened her mouth again.
"Wow. Whatever could that have been?" she said sarcastically, still in her Harley Quinn voice. "Oh! I know! It's a fucking cock." she said dismissively as the host grinned.
"You got the make. What's the Model? And Size…" Model and size?
She smacked her lips. "...Well, he's about 8 inches." she declared, to the collective gasps of the group. "And 'model'..." She smacked her lips again, tongue slowly sliding across her teeth. "...Black guy," she said as the crowd roared, some in dismay and others in cheers as the blindfold was ripped off her face revealing a chubby black guy who was more then happy to get his cock sucked by a sexy clown to care that he busted after barely putting it in her mouth.
"How the fuck did you know that?" asked the host. He was clean-cut, moderately handsome, with light brown hair and a strong jaw, and looked thoroughly annoyed.
"It's always a black guy," she joked with a lazy wave as the crowd laughed. "I just guessed." There was collective laughter as the chubby black guy closed his pants back up, hopping down from a stool as the host grumbled.
"Damn it I knew I should've used my dick. Alright, who bet that she'd get them all right?" The group of guys, half of whom were holding bottles of booze, suddenly went quiet. "...Well?" he asked bluntly. "Someone did right? I'm certain of it."
In the solid quiet of the drawing room, suddenly there was a loud FLUSH, and footsteps in the hall. Then… "Hey guys, what did I miss?"
A short young man, a little over for feet tall, with curly black hair, a pot belly, and an absurdly youthful face, looked around as everyone stared at him and the trail of toilet paper clinging to his foot. "...What?"
"Garth," the host said, looking at him indignantly and speaking seriously. "...How many guesses did you put down?"
"Guess?"
"For the Babe. How many did you think she'd get right?" asked a tall blonde man with a slight pointy blonde beard.
"Oh uh…" he pulled out a slip of paper from his pocket while trying to shake off the toilet paper stuck to his foot. "...All of them?" he said, and the crowd groaned irately. "What?"
"I can't believe Garth won!"
"I can't believe she got them all right!" replied another as Harley Quinn's eyes flicked to the closet clock, half the time was gone already, thanks to their drunken game… so she stood up abruptly.
"Alright you bozos, calm down. I'll handle this." She strutted over to 'Garth', who gazed up at her in awe… She then hooked her hands under his arms and lifted his pudgy body off the floor and carried him back to the couch.
"AH!?" Garth bounced on the couch as she then knelt in front of him, grabbing his pants and tugging it down revealing a tubby 5-inch, uncut cock. "Eep!" She grabbed his hands, slapped them onto the couch.
"Relax doofus I know what I'm doing…" she opened her mouth and swirled it around the tip of his cock. "Aaah… laaaaaal." Swinging her tongue around and around him as his face went red and the crowd eagerly watched, Harley Quinn worked her tongue. "Mmn!" her black lips snapped over his cock. "MMn! Mmn! Mmn! MWAH!" her tongue danced again under his cock as it rose up. Garth moaned dazedly as she kissed and licked his stubby dick, it rigidly wobbled and oozed precum as she rubbed her lips on it, smearing her black lipstick.
"Ha! Garth's got a black dick."
"Ha-ha-ha…" Harley Quinn laughed still smearing his cock with her lips, drooling down his cock before flicking her tongue on his balls, which thankfully had hair on them… The guy looked way younger than he was. She stood up abruptly, pushing the bottom half of her suit to the floor before climbing over Garth, straddling his lap and lining up his smeared dick with her silky lower lips, "Alright puddin here we GO!" slamming down onto his body as he howled happily at the sensation of his cherry popping…
She had a feeling it was the case. "Oh! Oh! Ooooh!!" squeaking happily as his hands wrapped onto her shapely ass, her hands grabbed the back of the couch, pushing her tits into his face as her jester cap bounced. "Mmgh! Mmn!!"
"AH-ha-ha-ha!" laughing as she bounced on his lap. "Oooh! Oooh YEAH! Like that pudding?! Feels good to ride the Harley…" she growled playfully in her Harley voice. "Oh! Yeah! Oooh!!" throwing her head back as her lower body rose up and down, her ass bouncing off his short legs as they bounced up and down, his hands gripping tightly to her ass as the rest of the boys hooted and howled at the show. "Oh! Ooh So GOOD Puddin…" she smacked her ass with a gloved hand, rippling from the ride and the smack as they boys watched her go. "Mmmn!!" pushing her chest into Garth's face as his fingers squeezed her ass cheeks again. "MMmn-YEAH…"
She pushed herself upright, lifting her shirt up and exposing her breasts, hooking it on them before resting her hands on the back of her head and bouncing up and down again. "OOoooooh!!" her big breasts springing up and down as the boys hooted, hollard, and cheered Garth on as a goofy smile stretched on his face, his toes curling off the couch as Harley Quinn slammed down onto him hard. Her back arching as her ass bounced on his lap. "Vroom Vroom bozo!!" she moaned as their smacking hips overwhelmed the cheers of the boys, "Come on. Come on. COME! ON! OOOoooh!!"
"Haaaah!!" Garth squealed happily as she dropped onto his lap.
"OOooh…" rolling her hips on him, feeling him spurting his load inside her as she fell onto him. "Mmmn!" rubbing her tits on his face as she jerked her lower body up and down flexibly on his pulsating cock, "Wooop." she popped off his cock like a jack in the box, legs straight on the floor and shaking her ass for the boys as cum dripped like a streamer out of her body, splattering back onto Garth's spent dick."
She kept shaking her ass for them, spotting a green dildo on the table behind her with the rest of the things they shoved into her mouth before putting hers back to work, bent over she opened her mouth, bobbing it up and down on Garth sticky dick, sucking out a meager load from his twitching girth before popping off, and grabbing the dildo, spinning coyly on one foot she flopped back onto the couch next to Garth, spreading her legs for the boys to show off her sticky pussy. Opening her mouth again she sucked the dildo, briefly, then flopped over so her head bounced off his pudgy belly and startched sucking him again, keeping her legs spready and shoving the dildo in and out. "Mmgn! Mmng! Mmn!"
Garth moaned, bucking his hips into Harley Quinn's face as she pressed her dark lips to the base of his cock over and over, slamming the dildo in and out of her pussy for all the boys to see as she twisted her head up and down, tongue salivating out of her mouth as Garth squirmed and wirthed under her lips.
Her head twisting faster and faster, sucking his dick as hard as she could, spearing her tight pussy with the dildo until Garth finally tapped out, gripping onto her head as she buried her face in his crotch. Garth moaned as she stayed on his cock, tongue sliding out to flick at his nuts as cum gushed out of her mouth onto his sack after splashing the back of her throat. "Mmmnn!!" she squirmed on the dildo, shaking through her orgasm as she drooled Garth's load down his cock and swung herself upright. Pulling the sticky dildo from her pussy before sucking it seductively, slurping off cum and her pussy juice as her black lips smeared the rubby shaft… then she pulled it out of her mouth with a wet pop.
Her blue eyes glanced at the clock, then she smiled. "Alright Bozos. That's a wrap…" She tossed the dildo over her shoulder, and it clattered on the floor behind the couch. Garth twitched with a goofy smile on his face and a sticky crotch as she then grabbed the carrot as they all stared at her. She took a bite, "Eeh… what's up doc?" she asked in her famous bunny voice.
"Oh, that hits different when she does the voice," said someone, and she threw the carrot at him. "OW!"
"Alright, fellas. Seriously," she said, in her Harley voice. "Times up. I got to go," she tapped her wrist for dramatic effect, but there was no watch…
"What about the rest of us?" someone asked, but Harley Quinn shrugged.
"Honestly bozos you should've thought of that before we played the 'who gets to fuck me first game'." There was a collective drunken silence, then someone, the guy she hit in the face with the carrot, said.
"Shit. She's right."
"AWWWW…" The disappointment was palpable, and only Garth seemed to be happy, but that wasn't necessarily HER fault.
"Okay. So. Who wants to give me money?" she said as the host finally got off his butt. "And show me the way to a bathroom?"
"Come with me," he mumbled as she followed him out and down the hall to a bathroom, as he mumbled dejectedly. "...Are you sure you can't stay longer?"
"Positive."She stared at him, then with an eyeroll. "...Got a phone?" he blinked at her, then reached into his pocket, producing his cell. "Open it up. Give it here," he said, handing her the phone. "...Now get out, give me a minute. And my money," she added, turning him around and booting him back out. Shutting the door behind him, all still in character… but she was speaking normally when someone answered. "Hey." She turned on the shower, yanking off her cap and shirt. "...So… have you found any boys yet?"
About 10 minutes later, Harley Quinn wiggled herself back into her suit and, with her makeup only slightly smeared, opened the door to find the host standing there with a wad of cash. Thanks, puddin." she said, taking and stuffing it into her suit. "Alright, I need to leave. Right now," she said as she walked to the front door with him. "I do not want to be caught up in the bomb."
"Bomb?" The second she reached the door, it swung open.
"HELLO BOYS!!" A wild and skimpy dressed Veronica Morehead appeared, along with a somewhat disheveled and horrified Alice Amsel. "I am here to HELP!!" she said before glancing at the startled host and THROWING herself at him, tackling him to the floor.
Harley Quinn smiled at the result before turning to Alice, who glowered at her.
"Never. EVER… Call V when she's driving AGAIN." Alice snarled at Harley Quinn smiled.
"Aw but look how happy she is?" she said Veronica's ass in the air and happily sucking on Host's cock.
"FUCK you," Alice said, her heart looking like it was trying to burst out of her chest. "We were in UPPER EAST…" Harley Quinn shrugged.
"Alright well you have fun," she said as Veronica stopped sucking on Host long enough to grab him and drag him like a dead body towards the sounds of drunken laughter.
"FUCK YOOOOU." Alice repeated angrily, "Seriously!"
"ALICE!!" cheered Veronica, "There are SO many cocks for you to suck!" she said cheerily as Alice snarled.
"FUCK YOU!" she repeated only to Veronica, Harley Quinn stepping casually away.
"But this one's so cute! Ooooh! And this one's SO BIG…" Veronica cooed and ALice glowered at Harley Quinn as she got all the way to the car, waving at the big titty Goth girl who, notedly, slammed the door.
Harley Quinn, proud of the small amount of hilarious chaos she caused, turned the car around and left Veronica and Alice to give the boys a good time. She's sure that'll end well… mostly.
Time: 8:44 PM. Place: Gotham (Superbabes)
"Hey, I'm back." Harley Quinn announced as Orders gave her a stern, purple-eyed look. "...This is about me calling Veronica, isn't it?"
"What did those boys do to you, Melissa?" Orders replied sarcastically, which Mel laughed at because Orders knew damn well what they did to her, but she knew what she was talking about.
"What? They went over their time!" she replied indignantly, "And they were so SAD…" she added as Orders frowned at her. "...Come on, at least we know where Veronica is tonight." Orders rubbed her head, trying to fight the migraine.
"...Just go fix your face, Melissa," she ordered as Mel shrugged, and walked into the locker room to do just that, soon walking back out freshly painted. Or at least about to, hesitating as she returned to her locker and picked up her phone.
"Hello? Madroach, I'm at my job. What is it? Can it wait?"She paused after a second and scowled. "No. THat's not what cocksucking sounds like-Look. Do I have to come over? Show you how it's fucking done?... I know you're a girl. I will find a DICK!... because I have standards!"
Orders sighed, tapping her chin in quiet thought as 'Messy Blank' went into a tirade with her most recent animator. "...It must be the makeup…"
End
This one took longer than expected to do, but in my defense I did like 4 Superbabes commissions, a couple others, got some new pictures up... anyway, next up is... Starfire. Ah Fuck...