I turned five this year—my body did, at least.
Over the years, I've accepted the truth: this is a rebirth, not some afterlife.
Most of my time is spent cradled in my room with the woman who is this body's biological mother.
"Nel, what are you thinking so deeply about?"
[Nothing]
"Oh! You typed that pretty fast—you're getting good at it."
I'm currently sitting on her lap. Most of my time is spent that way, whether I like it or not.
The idea of a mentally old man nearing 40-year-old sitting on a young woman's lap is shameful enough to warrant seppuku.
Thankfully, my mind is strong enough to not feel shame over such minor things. (Avoids reality by glazing himself.)
"Say, Nel, let's go for a walk today and get some sweets on the way back. You said you liked ice cream, right?"
[Yes]
I use a text-to-speech arcane interface to communicate.
Why? Because I'm mute.
According to the doctor, my vocal cords and tongue are fine—the issue lies in my brain.
Blind and mute. Am I in some sort of simulation with name like "Hellen Keller the Experience"?
Honestly, I don't mind being mute. Most of my past life was spent that way. No real loss.
Besides, social interaction is overrated!
We get ready and head out.
We take walks frequently. At the start of our outings, Mother wanted to carry me, but I refused. I'm fine sitting on her lap in private—but being carried around in public? Absolutely not.
She insisted strongly at first, but eventually gave up. I understand her dilemma: seeing a fragile blind child trying to match adult steps under the sun doesn't look good to anyone.
But understanding and emotion are two different things.
As a compromise, she attached a GPS alarm to me. It triggers if I move beyond 200 meters radius from her.
I clutch her pinky finger as we leave.
We arrive at our estate's Warp Portal Station.
"Ah, Kara, where to today?"
"Two tickets to Central Marketplace, please."
The secretary sets the portal coordinates and gives us the tickets. Our turn comes, and we step through into the Marketplace station directly.
I've stepped through portals many times—but it still fascinates me.
'I really am in a fantasy world.'
This world isn't too different from Earth. It mirrors medieval class systems, but modern tech is replaced by magical arcane systems—and they're way more efficient.
Phones are replaced by Catalysts: arcane chips embedded like tattoos on the forearm. My text-to-speech interface and GPS alarm are some example of Catalyst apps.
This world even has its own internet—called the Akashic Records. Similar to the normal internet, but far more powerful. Zero buffer time, instant downloads no matter the file size.
Best part it's connected across the galaxy. Videos made from a planet several light years away can be accessed instantly, though I have no idea how information is able to travel faster than light.
"Nel, where do you want to go today?"
[Bookstore]
"Again? Nel, I'm proud you like reading so much, but why not play like other kids your age? How about visiting the arcade?"
[Bookstore]
"Ever since you learned to read using that scribble app, you've become a certified bookworm."
"Sigh~ And the books you pick are also weird—'Mysteries within the Spell Realm', 'History of Humanity', 'Spell's Influence on Flora and Fauna', and the last one? 'Effect of Spell Mutation on Insects'. How about a storybook this time?"
[No]
"..."
She pinches my cheeks. It's her go-to when I frustrate her. But I won't back down—this pain is nothi—ouch!
"Sighhh~ Okay fine. But I'll also pick a storybook for bedtime."
[...Deal]
This time, I chose "Types of Awakening Influenced Through Spell."
I've developed a fascination with Spell. It's a Warp dimension beyond space-time.
Also known as the Realm of Souls.
A chaotic, non-physical plane that mirrors and feeds on the thoughts, emotions, and souls of all sentient beings.
It's theorized mass consumed by gravitational singularities like black holes gets integrated within the Spell. So it's ever expanding and changing.
'I'd love to explore it someday... if only this weak body wouldn't get shredded instantly. I'll think more when I gain independence.'
We visited more places, ate street food, watched a play, and packed sweets for home.
"Why are you so obsessed with mint-flavored ice cream? It's literally toothpaste."
[Delicious]
"Even your taste is weird. I still love you though, hehe."
That last comment saved her from three days of brooding. No one disrespects mint flavor!
That's how our walk concluded.
*****
Evening: 6:45 PM
tak tak tak
I walk around my estate with a stick, tracing familiar paths, then exploring new ones.
This is my routine—to adapt to blindness. Step one toward independence is self-reliance.
I bump into fewer things now. My balance has improved.
[Door in 10 meters]
My blind-aid app also helps by telling me what's ahead, distances, and my current location.
'Let's try the maid quarters today. I need to get used to walking around crowded places.'
I head there.
The elderly butler sees me.
"Greetings, young master."
[Hello]
We greet and move on minding our own task. He used to offer help, but after I explained my intent for these walks, he leaves me alone now.
As I navigate among servants, I avoid collisions, but many still pat my head, pinch my cheeks, and even giggles.
Aren't they the least bit worried about offending a noble child? I'm not exactly mad, but it's baffling.
Then, a familiar maid squishes my cheeks.
"Guess who~"
[...Olivia]
"Correct! By the way, Master Nelor, if your walk is done care to come chat with me?"
[..Okay]
*****
Olivia is the person I interact with most, barring Mother.
"Today Helen broke an expensive vase at the main house and I had to explain to the annex butler... got yelled at for no reason."
Well, 'interact' is a stretch. It's mostly her venting and me listening.
"My husband's coming home drunk again. That man's always had the hots for the barmaid."
Olivia is a middle-aged maid from the main house—where my 'father' lives. She has no reason to be here. Our first meeting was also pure coincidence. She visits just to see me.
"I swear he's cheating. If I catch that bloody bast- ah! Sorry, I shouldn't use such words in front of a child."
She makes me sit on her lap and vents. I'm her emotional support doll. Makes sense—I can't talk, so I'm perfect for keeping secrets.
"On my way here I—"
BEEP BEEP
[Time's up]
"Ahhh~ I had so much more to say."
[Now fulfill our deal.]
"Okay~"
I listen to her rants for 30 minutes; in return, she updates me on estate and Dukedom news. Keeps me prepared for emergencies.
"This time it's serious. The Awakening Ritual for this generation is set for six months from now."
[Am I allowed to participate?]
"...Yes."
Finally! Awakening is the first step to entering the supernatural realm. A dream for any mortal.
It's also the basic requirement to enter the Spell realm!
It finally feels like I belong in a magical world!
"There were debates in the main house about whether you should join, considering your... unique condition."
She takes a pause.
"Master Nel, I don't mean offense, but out of tens of thousands of children Lord Abel has had—you're the only one born with disabilities."
[No offense taken.]
Being born weaker than commoners, despite having a demi-god's genes, is absurd if you think about it.
"The consensus was to exclude you—but the Duke himself gave the verdict to make you participate, when asked why he said, 'I'm curious.'"
See? Dad gets me!
'Ah, Mother's going to cry—not with joy. I'll have to stay close to her and comfort her for these months.'
"Master Nel, a word of caution. Awakening may sound exciting—but power brings responsibility, and the world grows harsher."
"The ritual has two phases. The second is a trial lasting around five years—with astronomical death tolls."
"Please, just be cautious and stay safe."
[...I'll remember.]
She gives a bitter smile and pats my head before leaving to inform Mother.
*****
Later that night, Mother—who cried through the evening—held me tightly and read me the storybook we got today.
Another hero story, of course. Either she loves them or wants me to idolize them. Or both.
I'm not a fan of these childish idealistic tales, but I listen, intently.
It's the least I can do.
That's how mother and son spent their evening, sharing quiet joy in their little world.
And in the blink of an eye, six months passed.