"You're back." Joon-woo commented, looking at Kite with a slightly dazed expression.
Kite was cleaned up now, no more blood or bends in his wings. He nodded, looking at the relieved Carre. It had been hard to talk to Joon-woo as of late, so when they were finally able to corner the kid, it was quite the celebratory moment.
In the uber spotless dorm bathroom (cleaned by your's truly), Joon-woo sat on the counter, facing away from the mirror as usual. He was suspicious, super suspicious.
"What's going on now?" Joon-woo asked, crossing his arms as he narrowed questioning eyes on his sponsors.
Kite gulped, "Well… As you know I was, out, for a while—"
"Three whole weeks, yeah." Joon-woo commented, uncharacteristically snappy.
"I was." Kite supposed, "And I was out investigating some energythat only reaper sponsors can leave. We all have our distinct ones, and this one…. It wasn't mine or Carre's…" Kite explained, getting more antsy as he trailed on uselessly.
"So there's another sponsor in this timeline, that's what you're telling me?" Joon-woo asked, his hands in his lap, clutching each other like pearls. Annoyed, Joon-woo was, couldn't he just sleep all of this mess away?
Kite and Carre both nodded.
"And with it, another regressor." Carre confirmed.
Joon-woo pursed his lips, "I thought… that you both said there was only supposed to be one per timeline, and that bastard producer was a one time mistake." He questioned, "You're telling me whoever your fuckass higher ups made another mistake?"
Kite flinched, surprised with how harsh Joon-woo's voice sounded.
"And during comeback preparations I have to deal with this? I've been exhausted as is." Joon-woo vented, "What's more? There's more, right? You were investigating after all." It was as if Joon-woo didn't want to hear it, like he had to.
Kite looked to Carre to continue.
"Do you recall your recent controversy?" Carre asked.
Joon-woo did. After receiving his phone back, he had immediately checked social media reactions to find most things cooled. It doesn't mean any of the mean comments were non-existent. Under the aggro Witter and Meverse posts, he saw dozens, maybe hundreds of comments going after his attitude, body, his face, or just anything they could get their grimmy hateful hands on. One thread in particular talking about how it seemed he had put on pounds caught his eye. How his stomach looked slightly un-flat in a recent airport appearance when he was put in a shorter and tighter tee shirt.
He had to weigh himself to make sure the claims were untrue, but just in case he skipped breakfast before their next concept shoot.
"I do." He did. He was still surprised about how well their CEO dealt with it. Joon-woo didn't get how a simple statement like that killed the building hate train, but it did, so at least it was a weight off his chest.
"The journalist is the regressor." Carre informed, "Joy Lozado."
Joon-woo took a deep deep breath. It was demotivating. Why couldn't his life ever be easy? Was he born with a curse in his feet? Had he been hexed as a baby in both of these fucked lifetimes?
He stared at Kite, recalling their first meet.
"What if… I just killed myself again? It wouldn't matter, right? Since there's other regressors in this timeline, it'll still exist and everyone could move on after their memory erases." Joon-woo proposed, voice calm, though the idea was absurdist.
Carre and Kite didn't speak. They didn't even look at each other. Like they were hiding something more.
"That's not how it works, Joon-woo." Carre was the first to speak.
Joon-woo looked at Carre with wide eyes, hysterical but not surprised, "Tell me, then, for once in your goddamn shitty manipulative soul-stealing life how this works." He almost yelled, but he couldn't. He probably seemed crazy enough already.
"I…" Carre paused, "I can't tell you everything—"
"Why can't you? Aren't I your chosen regressor? Haven't I proved myself worthy to know what the hell I'm doing here and why?" Joon-woo asked, drastically confused. "You never make sense, Carre, you never do. I'm just supposed to sit here, stuck and confused and tired, like an obedient well-trained dog, and fight through this without purpose?"
This was getting dangerous, and fast.
"If you kill yourself again, time will stay the same and you'll be spawned back five minutes before you did so. Nothing will change, Joon-woo, and no one will know that you even attempted." Carre explained, "I'm sorry, I actually am, but these are matters that not even we, sponsors, are fully knowledgeable about."
Joon-woo remained quiet, herring footsteps entering the related dorm room.
"And this regressor, she's going for Reggie next, then Mi Yong, then—"
Joon-woo took a shaky breath, "Give me a date." He interrupted.
"What?"
"Give me the date where you can promise me all of this will end. And I can go be in peace, finally done with this and life and everything." Joon-woo demanded, "Take me away then, you have to promise to put me wherever you put the bastard producer."
Kite looked at Carre with a sparkle of hope in his bird eyes.
"Joon-woo—"
"Tell me!" Joon-woo slammed his fist against the bathroom counter.
He heard footsteps approach the bathroom door, likely concerned.
"One more year." Carre interjected, "Just give us one more year, okay? I'll even count it down, but we need you to finish this mission. This is for the best interest of us and you."
Joon-woo's attention poured to Reggie's concerned voice from the other side of the bathroom door.
"Joonie-ah?" Reggie asked, "I made dinner, come out to eat now."
Joon-woo looked at Carre, then Kite, "If you don't keep your promise I swear I'll kill you." He whispered, unlocking the bathroom door to face the odd-acting Reggie.
Reggie had been looking at Joon-woo with stupid concerned eyes all day. It was annoying. Bo Jaesang had been too, like he was a fragile doll or glass or something. And even now, as Joon-woo looked up to face Reggie, he seemed to be looking over Joon-woo for something Joon-woo wasn't sure of.
"I made bal and gook, but we ran out of my mom's kimchi." Reggie explained, "I saved the big plate for you." He added, as if it would make food anymore appealing.
The smaller the plate the easier it was for you to trick the brain into thinking you ate enough. It was a key tip in dieting for idols. Yet even if Mi Yong or Baek Du-Ho made a cheap quick dinner they would give him the bigger plate. Joon-woo didn't appreciate it.
"Can you send me the recipes you used?" Joon-woo asked, following Reggie out of the dorm.
He'd have to write down his calorie intake for the next month or so of promotions to send to his nutritionist. They all technically did, but it was most important to Joon-woo and Jung Hyun-Ok's slimmer body requirements.
"My mom's recipes have no calories." Reggie spoke pridefully, nose up. Though his expression was dark for just a short moment.
Joon-woo rolled his eyes. He would just have to estimate then, based on recipes online.
As they entered the kitchen in which the island was filled with healthier versions of various foods, the rest of ASCEND was digging down on plates half the size of the one that awaited Joon-woo. He wished he could go invisible for just a minute and switch out to a smaller plate, but he swore ASCEND had been insistent on fattening him up lately. Like they wanted him to look big for the netizens to go ham on him for.
He took a seat nonetheless, wishing for Reggie's mother's kimchi over the food in front of him.
–+–
Jung Hyun-Ok was washing ASCEND's dinner dishes as Ryeo Hyun was putting away leftovers into tupperware. They had a chore chart like an elementary school class, but it got the job done well enough.
Jung Hyun-Ok was one of the many who listened to music while doing such mundane tasks, in fact to Flights he posted the most about his favorite songs and singers. So catch him surprised when Reggie approached in his slightly towering height, a frown permeating on his features like clay.
Ryeo Hyun was first to question, putting the little left over gook into the fridge as the last item of order.
"Did Joonie kick you out of your room again?" Ryeo Hyun asked, mostly joking. Reggie was just always just scared to wake Joon-woo who was a chronic early sleeper, though Joon-woo was also a deep sleeper more so these days. They weren't sure how the younger could become harder to wake up, but he did.
Reggie shook his head, his expressionless face victim to him rubbing at his eye as if trying to combat emotion back into his brain.
"Reggie?" Jung Hyun-Ok asked, growing concern when Reggie's action resembled a man trying to hide his tears.
He looked like a gentle giant here, their fake maknae, Reggie. Ryeo Hyun grabbed Reggie's arm that was hiding his eyes and pried it away to reveal teary eyes on Reggie's usually joyous face. It was an unfitting emotion.
They both gulped, Ryeo Hyun immediately embracing Reggie like a father, though they were of similar height.
"Reggie, what happened?" Jung Hyun-Ok asked, not even bothering to wipe his hands clean of dish soap and water.
Reggie let out a choked sob, "I— I don't know what to anymore Hyungs…" He said, being unclear in the growing intense moment.
"Reggie, you need to be clear." Ryeo Hyun said, grabbing Reggie's shoulders out of the hug and staring at him as he cried freely.
"Joon-woo! I– I can't, I've tried to help a little bit but it's hard." Reggie insisted.
"Joon-woo?" Ryeo Hyun asked. Was it to do with the small controversy he was recently in? Or had Joon-woo done something reckless again?
"No– Jaesang Hyung saw it, a-and he told me. He said that Joon-woo might have an eating disorder or something and I've been trying to look out and feed him more and be there but—" A bubble of snot ran down Reggie's pretty face.
Jung Hyun-Ok and Ryeo Hyun locked widened eyes, connecting more dots than they wanted to at the revelation.
Really, didn't it make sense?
Even during Producer10, Joon-woo was stingy about eating. He never took the snacks they snuck out for and bought, some for Joon-woo specifically. In Ryeo Hyun's early mornings he would find them in the trash sometimes. When they met up during the show to watch the new episodes of Producer10 at Reggie's or even went to go rehabilitate Bo Jaesang he barely touched even Reggie's mother's home cooked food. All is this to say they tried to get him to eat then, just thinking he was sticking strictly to a self-enforced diet. But it was different now.
Joon-woo was skipping meals too frequently now, sure his company-assigned diet wasn't great, he still made sure to follow it to a tee. It was even changed as of late, all their diets were as the nutritionist was found to be no longer credible due to a trainee health scare. But Joon-woo still followed his old diet. Like glue.
"Reggie, shh– Listen to me." Jung Hyun-Ok gently whispered, standing in Reggie's view like a large stone.
Reggie nodded, wiping his tears, or trying to. They flowed faster than he could.
"If Joon-woo, is–" Jung Hyun-Ok's voice cracked, he didn't like the idea that the overly mature and smart Joon-woo was sick. But at some point he had to admit that a part of Joon-woo was, no matter how smart he was. "If he is sick and has… eating problems, that's not your responsibility to fix."
Eating disorders in K-Pop were often deep rooted. From strict trainee diets to intensive amounts of exercise. Jung Hyun-Ok shivered, recalling how they'd have to repeat the dizzying sets over and over again until every trainee, even the new ones, got it exactly right. Even the underweight were told to lose more, bullied into it. There was a hierarchy about who weighed the least while looking the best. Joon-woo was likely on the top of it, at his old company.
Ryeo Hyun nodded, "We can talk to the CEO or Team Leader Changmin. It's not only you— us, that needs to help."
Reggie nodded, blowing his nose into his third tissue.
"I think that… we need to." He confirmed, "I can't make him better." He admitted, quietly breaking into another pool of tears.