Ezikiel Astrea POV
Time began to pass by as I managed the front of the store, swept the grounds, and restocked the shelves.
Sometimes my thoughts would drift back to the conversation I had with Shiro.
Those words echoed inside my mind relentless and sharp like a thorn buried just beneath the skin.
Once I might've agreed without hesitation I might've even stood proud sword in hand, declaring that saving and helping others was a good thing.
It seems like a good kind of thing but as the years went by I saw what helping truly costs.
I watched a boy once wide-eyed and hopeful die for someone who never even remembered his name. I buried a girl who believed in peace only to be betrayed by the very people she saved.
And whenever the World was on the brink of extinction, again and again…I willingly obeyed Gaia's call to eliminate the threat.
Always.
No matter the price.
No matter how many corpses I had to step over.
So when Shiro asked if there was something wrong with helping others…she wasn't wrong but she wasn't right either.
With a ding I locked up the register box "alright I am heading out now Yui-san!" I called out to the girl "okay thanks for all your hard work today Ezikiel!" she shouted back.
"Of course it was no problem Yui-san," I replied before heading out of the shop letting the cold night of Fuyuki City wash itself over my face.
I shoved my hands into the pockets of my jacket getting ready to head back to my apartment when I was stopped "Yo Ezikiel-san!" I paused looking towards the direction of where the voice came from "Shiro?" I asked.
The auburn-haired girl gave a sheepish grin "I just finished up my shift over at Kurosaki's bar, sorry if I was a bit late but here," she said extending a bento box to me.
"Shiro...sigh you really don't have to keep doing this every time," I replied with a bit of shame.
Shame because this kind girl was always taking a part of her time bringing me packed dinners every time I pulled an all nighter when she could be using that time for something she enjoys.
A monster like me doesn't deserve this kindness I though as my Divine Protection of Calm Mind activated to keep me from spiraling down into my own self-hatred.
Her grin didn't waver not even for a second "and you keep saying that every time, but here we are," Shiro said nudging the bento into my chest until I reluctantly took it from her.
The box was still warm.
The scent of grilled fish, miso-glazed vegetables, and just a hint of ginger drifted through the air and for a brief moment the ever-present cold gnawing inside me seemed to ease.
"…Thank you," I said quietly forcing the words out past the weight in my throat "I'll be sure to eat it before it gets cold."
She beamed a smile at me yet for some reason it seemed so similar to my own, unauthentic.
"Good! That's all I wanted to hear well, I'll be heading off then Fuji-nee's probably back home now waiting for dinner," she gave a wave then turned and jogged off into the night.
I watched her go feeling that same familiar pull again.
It reminds me of a lost Utopia.
A flash of static goes through my mind I am standing in a grassland watching a boy who looks like a younger version of myself crying all by himself.
I get the feeling to walk towards my young self when a voice that could only be described as formal and direct asked "hey why are you crying?"
It was a young girl with blond hair tied up into a ponytail.
She was dressed in a white ragged shirt, black belt wrapped around her waist, dark blue trousers, long black socks, and brown boots.
Yet the most notable thing that stood out to me were her beautiful green eyes.
I feel an unbearable pain in my heart I reached up grasping my chest but there's no wound so why...why does it hurt so much when I look at her.
"Who a҉r҉e҉ ҉y҉o҉u҉?҉"
The static returned blinding my eyes, none of my protections acted up to respond I let out a groan shaking my head "what...strange visions," I muttered clutching my head.
I wonder could it be related to the memories that I was missing.
I try to think back on it but it was like trying to grasp smoke from the moving wind.
Yet still that girl.
Those eyes.
Even now I could still see them clearly.
Emerald like freshly cut jade bright, resolute, and impossibly kind.
Why did they feel so familiar?
I took a breath grounding myself "…no use thinking about it out here," I adjusted my jacket and began walking again.
-Later at the Apartment-
I shut the door behind me with a soft click, the only light in the room coming from the dim orange glow of the kitchen bulb.
The apartment like always was dead silent and empty.
My footsteps echoed a little too loudly on the wooden floor as I crossed over to the small kitchen table setting the bento down.
Using my Divine Protection of Materialization I made a pair of wooden chopsticks and empty glass cup appear.
After that I switched it up using my Protection of Water Gathering to fill up the glass with fresh water.
Breaking open the chopsticks I opened the bento box the smell of grilled fish and miso sauce immediately hitting my nose.
I was hesitant to eat Shiro's food.
Her food was always beyond good, better then anything I've ever eaten but every time I did some times I would end up reliving some painful memories that I never wanted to see again.
Still she had cooked this for me...I can't let it go to waste just because of something like that I thought taking a bite out of the grilled fish.
It tasted so amazing just like every other bento box she made for me I thought closing my eyes in bliss.
Memories began to surface up to the front of my mind faces, voices, and laughter but they all broke apart like shattered glass before I could grasp them. I didn't know when the tears began to prick at my eyes I hadn't even noticed them until the drop fell onto the corner of the bento lid, smudging a bit of sauce.
I hastily wiped my face with the back of my sleeve the Divine Protection of Calm Mind kicking in too late to fully suppress the emotion.
"Dammit…" I muttered under my breath "why does this hurt?"
I shouldn't feel this way I wasn't supposed to feel this way.
I'd eaten in war camps with soldiers who knew their death would come before sunrise.
I've consumed ration packs in the middle of fire and smoke standing ankle-deep in blood and ash.
I've chewed through half-burnt meat in lonely forests hunted down by phantasmal beasts.
Food was survival just a necessity for my body nothing more.
Yet this?
This wasn't survival.
This was someone genuinely thinking of me.
Someone…choosing to care.
I don't deserve it I thought silently eating the food.
-end of chapter two-
As you can see our poor boy is completely broken...like every other Nasuverse character but don't worry soon Shiro and Artoria will return to fix up your heart man!
Anyways your thoughts on this chapter? Also stones and reviews are much appreciated since I could use the feed back just don't be an asshole about it please.
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