Chapter 2: The Challenge of Socializing
Hikigaya walked through the crowded hallways of the school, surrounded by classmates who seemed to have an instant connection with each other. He observed them laughing and chatting animatedly, while he felt increasingly isolated. Although some of his classmates knew his name and recognized him this year, he still considered himself a loner amidst the crowd.
As he made his way to his first class, Hikigaya noticed that some of his classmates glanced at him, as if trying to remember his name or something about him. Some even smiled shyly, but there were no significant interactions beyond that.
He decided to seize the opportunity to try and strike up a conversation. He approached one of his classmates, Tanaka, and attempted to break the ice.
Hikigaya: "Greetings, Tanaka-san. How are you doing in this new school year?"
Tanaka: "Oh, hello Hikigaya-san. I'm doing well, thank you. And you? How are you adjusting?"
Hikigaya: In his mind, he reflected on Tanaka-san's question. How was he really doing? Could he admit his struggle with socializing or should he keep up appearances? He decided to respond with honesty. "Surviving, I suppose. Social interaction isn't exactly my strong suit, but I'm trying to adapt."
Tanaka: Nodding understandingly. "I see. We all face different challenges in school. But remember, we're here together, and maybe we can help each other out."
Hikigaya inwardly appreciated Tanaka-san's words. It seemed that, although his socialization struggles were apparent, there were people who understood and were willing to accept him. However, he knew the real challenge lay ahead.
Over the following days, Hikigaya made conscious efforts to approach his classmates. During morning rituals, he attempted to greet those around him, following Japanese customs of politeness.
Hikigaya: "Ohayou gozaimasu" (Good morning).
Student A: "Ohayou" (Good morning).
Student B: "Ohayou gozaimasu" (Good morning).
Hikigaya noticed that while some responded with courtesy, there was no genuine interest in engaging in further conversation. It felt like he was following a scripted routine, with no opportunity to delve deeper into relationships.
During breaks between classes, Hikigaya sought moments to approach different groups of students. Though often conversations remained limited to superficial topics, he tried to find points of connection.
Hikigaya: "Have you heard the latest song from that music group? Some say it's quite catchy."
Student C: "Yeah, I've heard it. It's decent, I guess."
Hikigaya silently pondered the response. "Decent"? Why were most of the answers so indifferent? At times, he felt like he was speaking a different language than his classmates.
Student D: "I'm not really familiar with that music. I prefer other genres."
Hikigaya nodded and decided not to delve further into the topic. He knew there were limits to what he could do. Despite his efforts, he remained a loner on the outskirts of school life.
As the months went by, Hikigaya watched other students interact with ease. It seemed that each had their own group of friends, their own connections. He wondered what set him apart, why it was so difficult for him to find his place.
One day, while walking down the hallway, he overheard a conversation between two girls about an accident that had occurred near the school. It reminded him of the incident where he prevented Yuigahama's dog from running into the street.
Girl A: "It was horrible! Yuigahama's dog was almost hit by a car. But thankfully, someone stopped it just in time."
Girl B: "Yeah, I heard it was a guy named Hikigaya-san. It's strange, isn't it? Nobody really knows him, but he saved Yuigahama's dog."
Hikigaya listened silently, feeling uncomfortable with the attention he was receiving. He knew that his act of prevention didn't automatically make him popular or well-liked. But at least, for a brief moment, he had made an impression.
As his first year of school came to an end, Hikigaya reflected on his attempt to socialize. He realized that while his efforts were often misunderstood or overlooked, he kept trying. Though he felt like a stranger in his own school, he wouldn't easily give up.