Each night I lie and dream about the one who kissed me and awakened my desire, that I spent a single hour with him alone. And since those hours, my days are layered with fire, because I didn't know then in my past what I wanted, but the ache for it is palpable. I missed Nam Seon-Ho from the moment that I gave him the drugs to bring him back to me, and it worked. I wanted his addiction to rule over his obsession with Seo Yeon had it did for the most part, until it came time to deal with this wedding business and it was the first time that he left my sight since, and I missed him. I yearned for him, his smell, the intense look in his eyes when he got angry, I missed fantasising about how big his hands were and what they could do to me, I missed his passion for his work and his ruthless ideas that brought him exactly where he is now today as the first most successful half-breed of Yi Song-Gye's rule. He was tall, he was the most handsome man in this entire village and even the kingdom I daresay and he was just so big that I simply couldn't wait for him to control his addiction so that he could regain some of his senses so that I could…enjoy he fruits of my labour after almost a year. My body was wasting away without a mans touch and I was dying to see what it would be like to try him out. How I longed for him to chase me around like he used to, just like he did to Yeon before she had her own cousin arrested, how I longed to have him warmup my bed whist waiting for me after a long day's work by the side of The Concubine Choi and how I longed for us…to simply spend the rest of our lives together as a loving couple in matrimony. Yes, he was the only person that I could ever environs myself marrying and even…bearing children for him, if fate would be kind to me at least once. We would live in the grandest of homes with many servants that I could order around as we said in bed together during most days. We would be the most successful couple in the palace that were not Royal Family Members, we would be the couple that all young and ambitious couple would look up to, and we would simply not have to worry about money or poverty ever again…
"Mistress Han? The Young Master Nam has sent a report that…." "What! What is it? Has he sent me a personal letter? Has he sent me a gift?" "Forgive me My Lady, he simply sent a report stating that the marriage issue ha been taken care of as of yesterday and…" 'yesterday? So why hasn't she shown up yet? Where is he? Does the report say when he will come back? Should I arrange some food for him?" "He simply stated that he will stay until the wedding to watch it in person before coming over…" But that is in a month's time! How can I possibly wait for him for that long? No, enough of this. I need to see him now, I simply cannot wait any longer, but I need Concubine Choi's permission first, where is she?" "She is in her quarters and freeing over the accidental death of Concubine Kim and Cho…" "it has been a while already, wha is there to worry about? The Third Prince is still unconscious, so she can make up any and every excuse in the world for it. Just dispose of the bodies and be quick about it. "
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I knew the story of the couple that I was living with since my maiden days in his father's yangban, so I already knew that I was in for when I was receiving their help ever since the death of my husband, which I didn't blame them for at all in the least. I also knew that loneliness was going to creep up on me time and time again, but I seem to have over-estimated myself. To be living next to a couple that couldn't keep their hands off of each other was emotional draining and the lack of sleep I was getting when tending to my son on my own wasn't helping out either. I was really angry when Yeon left me with her unconscious lover to look after whilst she went out to do my part of the work that will give me more reasons to be trusted in the palace, unlike using blatant nepotistic connections like his father did for him that ruined his General Inspector work completely. I truly didn't want to hate this sweet girl who has been nothing but nice to me, and I never thought that I would. But her cool intelligence and her beauty were prickling at my heart, no matter how much I simply wanted to close my eyes and turn away from her, I just couldn't. My brother-in-law already assured me that he will do everything in his power to stop her from entering the palace, so I only had to put up with Yeon for a little while longer and then hopefully my resentment of her will cool down with the distance between us. I only had this once chance to succeed and make something of myself in the palace to face off with The Mistress Han and hopefully rise above her enough to get rid of her. My resentment for both women were similar to drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die, it was a long slow wait for them to fall and I didn't have any time to waste. I only checked in on them from afar and I tried not to choke on the jealousy that I felt when he was watching her cook fro him intensely as he had one hand on his work and the other on her perky little bottom that I myself had lost after birthing my child. I wasn't in the prime of my youth and beauty anymore, but that would all change when I entered the palace and the opportunities for me would roll in then,.
So I made my way to The Chung family, to the family of the bride to deal with one last hurdle that we had for this marriage to happen, which was a very cunning cousin of his that managed to seduce him and turn herself into his concubine, and a rather domineering one at that.
"Madame Chung, good morning!" "Mistress Nam, what are you doing here?" "I have been invited for breakfast with the concubines of the groom before the wedding." "I see, well the servants can direct you to the courtyard where they are. Has Seo Yeon come with you also?" She has already visited this family quite enough, why couldn't they just be happy with me alone? No-one else had visited them since the scandal of the bride and her sister occurred, this family should be damned grateful that I left my baby to come here at all. "Mistress Nam! How good to see you! Please, join us all in our husband's residence." "Very well, I have also brought over the latest brand of tea for all of us to enjoy." "Thank you, come, let us enjoy the feast that is rarely bestowed upon us at such a joyous time." "I have to admit that you seem strangely optimistic for your husband marrying an official wife, and with children at that." "It is high time that we brought order to this little harem that my husband wanted but cannot be bothered to manage himself, which is just to typical for a man, isn't it?" "I agree, so are all of the concubines present?" "Unfortunately, there will be an absent one due to the miscarriage that she suffered from only this week." "Wait, what? Are you being serious? How? When? And why?" "The official reason is that she was rather careless and slipped outside her own chambers, but…" "But what is the unofficial reason?" "It was done by the hands of the most dominant concubine here, so the sisters are well and truly in for a surprise with her." "Is that so?"
"...So? What did the physicians say? Will she be able to have other children? Or is there anything else that we have to worry about?" "Madame Chung, what good will it do when the husband is bored of her? Will he sleep with her ever again to even have children in the first place? And it isn't like that niece of your husbands will let him visit his other women, not after her extended visit turned into a chance to become his concubine…" "enough! Nobody needs to hear that story again, believe me." "…and look at how many of your grandchildren have died ever since she settled herself into your home. And making that soup as well that you haven't done anything about either." "I cannot look after this entire household with ver 50 people in it all by myself! It isn't my fault that my useless son hasn't brought in a decent woman enough to help me manage the household, why else would I become desperate enough to let a married woman with children divorce her unless husband to come over here? And when she will come here, I would have finally regained control of his household. And then we shall either replenish this household or get rid of these useless concubines once and for all."
"Madame Chung, this concubine is almost infertile and there is only a very slim chance of her getting pregnant once again." "How coincidental for this to happen just after the diagnosis of the cousin concubine's pregnancy, how are going to protect the new concubine with her own baby?" "She will have to step harbouring resentment for this marriage issue and learn to rely on her for her help in ensuring her own child's life. But if she refuses to get over her bride, then she will become just as bad as this cousin concubine of my son's, and then our family will have no progeny left. And that is why I wanted her children as well, we must adopt them as soon as possible just in case." "It really is the shame that The Young Mistress Seo didn't come, surely she would have ideas on how to help us. Should we invite her to dine with us?" "Go on then, but my son and The Young Master Nam are technically enemies…" "Madame, everyone in this kingdom knows about his long standing friendship with The Seo's despite their…struggles in the past. The Young Master Nam is still her guardian in name and he will not tolerate her coming to his enemy's territory without him, so we must invite him. Just the once at least."