Chapter 5: Trial of Fear
After coming to the second trial, Tom looked around and saw the same fog he had seen in the first trial.
The only difference he could see was that this fog had a black color, while the one in the first trial had a yellow color.
Tom thought to himself, "Those colors might have something to do with the meaning hidden behind each trial. If yellow represented self, what would black represent? Or what could the other colors be?"
Tom didn't have much time to think because the same ancient voice he heard in the first trial spoke once again. This time, it had more clarity.
"There is no fear if emotions do not consume thy heart. There is no fear if no desires touch thee. Forsake the seven emotions and six desires, and thou shall reach."
After thinking about it for a short while, Tom understood the purpose of this trial. It was to surpass fear.
Although the voice said he needed to abandon the seven emotions and six desires, he believed that was simply a hint. If you follow it, your path will be easier. If you don't, you will face the full strength of this trial.
Tom didn't want to become a doll with no feelings.
Even though immortality was his goal, that didn't mean he was willing to become an immortal dull rock with no desires or emotions.
He believed a person without emotions could not feel, and a person without desires could not walk.
"Understanding your emotions and controlling them is the true way to reach ascendance in mind and achieve a realm beyond the norm. Achieving nirvana."
Without thinking much longer, Tom took his first step into the fog, preparing himself for what was to come.
Darkness. Pitch-black darkness. No sound, no smell, not even the feeling of touch.
Tom wondered if what he needed to do to succeed in this trial was simply to wait.
Time passed little by little. Tom didn't know how long he had been in this place or how long was left in this trial.
He felt the world tightening around him, feeling a growing sense of unease.
"Did they forget about me?"
"Is this trial even working correctly? Who knows how long it's been running?"
"Will I die here without achieving anything?"
Question after question started to pop up in Tom's mind.
He began to doubt the trial and the world itself. More importantly, he began to doubt himself.
Who could blame him? After all, humans' biggest fear is the unknown.
Have you ever had that feeling before you sleep, wondering if you'll ever wake up tomorrow? Or if your loved ones will?
Have you ever looked into the mirror and wondered if the reflection is actually you? Or if it would launch itself at you the moment you look away?
Legends like these have made a lot of people unable to sleep at night.
People laughed at them and said these stories were just made-up tales to scare children into behaving.
But not all of these stories are made up.
For example, have you ever heard of the kids with black eyes? Demonic beings that wait for their prey at night. They might knock at your door any day, waiting for you to let them in, wearing the skin of innocent children while preparing to take your life.
All of those legends and more gather when you are at your weakest point. When the darkness creeps in and you just want to sleep.
The unknown makes you think about everything buried deep inside.
Tom saw all that and more. While he didn't see it with his eyes, he saw it with his mind.
A person's mind can sometimes create a world more real than reality itself. This reality might be a haven.
A haven from all the world's darkness and cruelty.
But unfortunately for Tom, his mind created a personal hell and nightmares worse than anything you can imagine.
Although Tom had a stronger mentality than most mortals, he was still a mortal at the end of the day.
Being stronger than others didn't mean his mind had reached a level where it couldn't be broken. It only meant he wouldn't lose his way in normal circumstances.
From one nightmare to another, he saw moments from his cursed life. Some he had lived, others were new, things he had never imagined.
Tom heard a voice calling to him.
He blinked in the darkness, not expecting to see anything. But once he opened his eyes again, he saw himself standing on a stage before billions of people.
They all said one thing.
"You cursed man, die here and now. Every little hardship you faced was caused by your own hands. Die now. You are a demon."
The fear of rejection.
The feeling of being rejected by your family and friends.
The feeling of being rejected by the people you value most.
Tom felt as if he was being rejected by everyone.
Tom might have been able to face a hundred, maybe even a thousand people attacking him.
But billions of people gathered to curse every choice he ever made?
Tom started to believe he was going to fail himself at last.
The roller coaster of nightmares didn't stop there.
From a crowd of billions to darkness. From darkness to underwater, where he was shackled by chains and unable to breathe.
He couldn't even cry for help.
He felt true, utter helplessness that only someone who has been in that situation would understand.
A helplessness that breaks you fast and without mercy.
Moment after moment, nightmare after nightmare.
If you've ever experienced fear, actual and genuine fear, you would know the trauma.
You know the feeling of being frozen because fear has taken over you. It's not something any human can easily handle.
After all of that, Tom was thrown into a temple. Written on the temple was one thing: The Fruit of Immortality.
Although it was all just an illusion, it was so powerful that Tom could not help but fall into it.
It wasn't something a mortal or even a strong cultivator could easily resist.
The illusion made Tom genuinely believe the fruit would grant him immortality.
He walked into the temple.
A peach of unimaginable beauty rested inside. Its size wasn't that of a regular peach. Its scent was different.
Once Tom laid eyes on it, his belief grew stronger.
He walked slowly at first, then ran toward it with all he had.
He wouldn't have minded fighting immortals to get it. But just when he reached it, the peach disappeared.
Tom couldn't believe his eyes.
His dream, the thing he desired most, vanished right in front of him.
He inhaled, then exhaled. Inhaled again, then exhaled once more.
The core of this trial was the fear of losing your dream and the thought of never getting it back.
Tom's mind was on the verge of breaking.
The earlier nightmares cracked parts of his mind, but this one might be the straw that broke the camel's back. In this case, Tom's.
He knew that once his mind broke, he would fail the trial. He didn't want to think about the consequences of that.
Not only would he lose his only chance at immortality, but he might also be killed directly.
Just when he was most desperate for hope, he remembered something.
"If one wishes to destroy his fears, then he only needs to take a step.
Fear can't walk. It simply wants to convince you it has control, when in reality, it's the deadwood you hold yourself by."
This drop of hope gave Tom the strength to take the step he should have taken long ago.
He walked away from his fear. Walked away from his past. Burned the deadwood that had held him back.
Tom took the step that freed him from the illusion of fear.
Because fear, at the end of the day, is simply an illusion.
He finally succeeded in the second trial as he stood before the fog.
Looking back at the fading black fog that had dragged him through hell and back, Tom said,
"I once thought I was a fearless man, but now I see that I am just as afraid as any other mortal."