Jungkook slowly opened his eyes, noticing the soft morning light seeping through a small, dusty window above his bed. The room around him was still dark, with shadows lurking in the corners as if hiding secrets. He lay there, sinking into the mattress, letting the quietness of the early morning wrap around him while he waited for the sun to rise completely.
Jungkook bit his lip in frustration. Each gentle bite was almost a desperate effort to remember what had happened the day before, but his mind felt utterly blank. All he could recall were bits and pieces: Naeun and Taehyung came to take him. After that, everything faded into a confusing mist, leaving him puzzled about what had happened.
Swallowing hard, Jungkook felt that familiar sensation again-the taste of chocolate lingering on his tongue. It was strange; this sweet, rich flavor appeared almost daily, yet he couldn't remember ever eating chocolate or seeing any around him. Still, the taste remained persistent and mysterious.
With a heavy sigh, the weight of his confusion settled in. He couldn't stop wondering if he would ever wake up feeling complete again as the big emptiness inside him might someday heal. Each day, the unsettling thought crept in-he felt like he was losing touch with who he was as if his very being was slipping away like sand through his fingers.
In quiet moments, he questioned whether he was genuine or just a creation of his mind, a character lost in a story he couldn't fully understand. This uncertainty clung to him like a shadow, leaving him to wonder if he was genuinely part of the world or simply a figment of his imagination drifting through a landscape of forgotten memories.
It was early, around 4 a.m. when Jungkook first sensed your presence. He wondered why you were there at such an odd hour, especially when he noticed that his shirt felt sticky and uncomfortable against his skin-damp with sweat. The events of the previous night weighed heavily on his mind, and he couldn't shake the nagging worry that something had been off, that he might have been drugged again. Surprisingly, he felt wide awake, alert, and aware of your arrival.
When you stepped through the door, he sat up on the edge of the bed, his heart pounding with anticipation. In the dim light, Jungkook squinted, trying to see you. Even in the shadows, a comforting and familiar feeling surrounded him. Your scent hung in the air-floral and inviting, wrapping around him like a warm blanket. Every time you came close, it made him feel light-headed and safe.
"Why are you here so early?" Jungkook asked, his voice rough from sleep as he removed his damp shirt, wanting to shake off the remnants of the previous night. He reached out for the fresh shirt you offered him, thankful for the distraction.
"I was already around..." you replied, sounding weary as if you wanted to downplay the oddness of the situation.
"But did you even go home?" Jungkook pressed, concern etching his brow. He couldn't shake the uneasy feeling in his stomach. You had a day off yesterday; it didn't make sense for you to show up so soon after.
"No," you whispered, a hint of vulnerability in your voice. "I just napped here. Mingyu has a couch in his office, so it wasn't a big deal. I didn't see the point in going home for just a few hours."
"What did I do?" Jungkook suddenly asked, worry filling the space between you. A wave of dread washed over him as he struggled to piece together the hazy memories of the night before.
"Nothing."
Jungkook raised an eyebrow, scrutinizing you with a mix of curiosity and disbelief. "You're lying. Why would you be here otherwise? Tell me the truth. I don't need your protection. I'm not a child." His voice was a whisper as he pulled the crisp white shirt over his head, revealing a torso that seemed to hold the tension of his unspoken fears. His eyes fixated on you, demanding honesty and connection.
Silence enveloped the room, a heavy pause that stretched like an elastic band about to snap. Jungkook continued to stare, searching for answers in your expression.
"But you didn't do anything," you finally said, a gentle smile breaking the tension. It was true-you understood that the weight of the monstrosity he was grappling with wasn't his doing. You didn't want to inflict more pain on him, especially not after the fragile bond that had formed between the two of you. Yet, it pained you to see him so oblivious to the truth.
Jungkook nodded slowly, a hesitant acceptance washing over his features. He wasn't entirely convinced, but perhaps a part of him was too terrified to confront the terrible truths hiding in the shadows of his mind. "I heard that... you are studying... psychotherapy." He swallowed hard, his throat tightening at the mention of the word. It held a profound impact on him-so many memories of anxiety and despair tangled within the term itself, a stark reminder of his struggles with mental health. It was a label he despised that felt like shackles binding him to a life of perceived abnormality.
"Yes," you replied softly, shifting your position to sit beside him on the bed, the space between you charged with tension and vulnerability.
"Tell me... did you figure out who I am?" His voice trembled with concern, though he attempted to mask it with bravado.
Your eyes widened with surprise; you had not anticipated such a direct question from him. Despite the dim light obscuring the details of his face, you could see the weight of his inquiry-the difficulty it posed for him, revealing the depths of his inner turmoil. You sensed how profoundly this mattered to him.
"Yes," you admitted with a shy laugh, breaking the somber atmosphere. "You are a bad boy, a jerk, and annoying as hell," you teased, attempting to bring a lighter note to the situation.
You chuckled as you watched his lips part in genuine shock, his eyes widening in disbelief, almost as if he couldn't fathom the notion that someone might see beyond the surface of his persona.
"But...," you continued, tone softening, "you are also sweet on rare occasions-a boy who struggles to trust. Someone scared to let others into his life. Lost and terrified of the unknown and the darkness that looms within."
Your final words hung heavy in the air, resonating with Jungkook-a reflection he had seldom encountered amidst the chaos of his existence.
"You are real," you added after a lengthy silence, grounding both of you in that fleeting moment.
Those words struck a chord in Jungkook's heart. During these past few days of waking in this despairing place, he often pondered his existence. And in that moment, your response lifted a weight from his chest, something monumental for him. "It's the first," he murmured, almost incredulously.
"What is?" you asked, brows furrowing in confusion.
"The first time someone sees me and doesn't think I'm a monster who killed his family when someone can glimpse... me. This me. You're the only one who can differentiate between the two of us."
"Two?" you repeated, your brow creasing further in bewilderment. "There are two of you?"
Jungkook turned toward you, the bewilderment clear on his face. "Yes? I thought you already knew that. There are only two of us. Me... and the other one."
Your heartbeat quickened, each thump resonating in your chest like an alarm bell.
"Are you sure about that?" you asked, your voice shaky.
"Yes. I don't know what he does or thinks about... but I feel him," he answered, a tremor in his voice that vibrated with desperation and fear.
No.
***
**Your POV**
At that moment, everything crashed down around you.
He lied to me from the first moment.
He spun a web of deception; you were just another fly caught in it.
Tears began to well in your eyes, cascading down your cheeks as the weight of betrayal settled heavily in your chest.
He made fun of me.
He made fun of all of us.
He wasn't real.
Your gaze was locked on him; disbelief etched across your features. You realized he had no idea about the other part of him-the part that had hurt you so deeply. The realization twisted like a knife, causing fresh grief to break over you as you cried out silently. You felt so foolish; how could you have allowed yourself to care so deeply for someone who didn't indeed exist? That sweet boy you had formed an attachment to was nothing but a clever façade, someone who concealed his darker nature beneath charming smiles and gentle words.
You were learning what it meant to feel betrayed. His laughter had come from a place of mockery; those sweet words were nothing more than an act, a performance designed to worm his way into your heart and exploit your feelings.
"Y/N?" His voice cut through your spiraling thoughts, a cloud of confusion draping over him.
You covered your face with trembling hands, ashamed and burdened by realizing your foolishness.
"I didn't want you to see me like this," you stammered through sobs. "It hurts, and I don't know what to do."
"Tell me that it wasn't you," you pleaded with your eyes, scanning his face for signs of the monster you feared. "Please tell me it's only one monster and not both sides of you."
"Me? What did I do? Did I hurt you?" His worry was palpable as he frowned, genuine concern etching his features. He bit his lip, and for the first time, you could see that your tears truly unsettled him.
You desperately wanted to trust him-something profound within you longed to believe his sorrow was sincere.
But he... he was a monster. You would not forgive him easily. He had honed in on your vulnerabilities and played the part of the sweet boy who cared, all while the real him lurked in the shadows.
"Please, don't cry. I am so sorry. What did I do to hurt you so much?" he implored as he wrapped his arms around you, cradling your head against his shoulder.
In that embrace, you felt an unexpected warmth radiating from him, different from the chilling revelations that had just surfaced.
"You... I thought a part of you liked me," you confessed, burying your face in the crook of his neck. "I... I'm so ashamed for feeling this way."
Your response from him was one of tension-a sign of shock and maybe confusion.
"I... I kissed you again without your consent, and... at that moment, I was just so happy." The admission escaped you in ragged breaths, your heart racing as you fought against the torrent of emotions crashing over you.
His body stiffened around you, an unmistakable shift in his hold.
"I thought somewhere inside of you, there was another personality. A sweet one who liked me. But... it was all a lie."
"I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault. It's mine," you replied, voice thick with regret. "I was so stupid."
Your hearts were seemingly locked in an emotional maelstrom, but amidst the chaos, you both yearned for some semblance of understanding.