Well now we are older and separated....
Two weeks later I got sick and missed two months of school which left me so damn far behind. But I'm I little bit better now and exams are in a month so I have a lot of studying to do. There is a new kid who joined us when I got bad so we were pared together and ow I have to spend ally time with him, honestly isn't not a problem,
His name is Rick and he is so damn cute, he has raven black hair brown/green eyes lightly taned skin but also quite fair, he seems Portuguese, and is breath taking. I've only ever felt this way for Tris but now Rick is here. "OMG" Amber screamed "you've finally fallen for someone, it's about damn time" she seemed exited but angry at me so...i guess she is happy? Well now I have to spend 75% of my time with Rick and the other 25% is me either sleeping, eating, singing, dancing or trying to fine my inner feminist.
Things I've learned about Rick
1. He is super hot
2. Thinks I'm cute
3. Enjoys working with me
4. We have similar taste with everything except books
5. Has a girlfriend (one thing I don't like about him)
6. Is super nice and cares for me
He is so damn awesome. I think I could be falling for him. No.,no...no, I can't, this is bad, I'm not one to fall in love...with a complete stranger. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!!!! Mom says it's a normal thing that happens to teen girls once they got through stuff...I stopped listening because I know how my mom reacts to stuff like this. After that long call with my mom I asked Ethan's mom for advice. She just told me about dating and love. CAN'T ANYONE REALIZE THAT I DON'T WANT TO FALL IN LOVE!!!!! Are they just teasing me because this hasn't happened in awhile?
My birthday is coming up and I don't need this kind of stress in my life. I study with the guy. I like this guy. HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!!
Why is everyone just ignoring this. I found myself crying to sleep and get him out of my mind. I can't take it anymore. I went to Ethan's room and we slept together. I felt like I had someone to protect me again even though I should be able to do it myself. In that moment I realized that Ethan is really another one of my brothers. The one who can relate and does not say "oh yeah that been there done that" it's so damn annoying. So this is how it's gonna be from now on? I'm gonna like a guy with a girlfriend who may never look at me as someone other than a study mate. Uuuuggggg I hate my life!
I guess there are people who make me regret saying that but everything else drives me crazy. Mom isn't around anymore, dad doesn't know my situation and I've been diagnosed with depression, stress and anxiety. And oh how life can get worse.
Tomorrow is a new day so I should stop crying and remember that there's no need for sadness